The Ghost of Big Bird

Continuing with the mentally challenged Episode 312 of the now so- beyond-reality-show-it’s-passing-the-Oort-cloud Ghost Hunters, the almost equally mentally challenged Talking Mongoose and Mme. Blahblatsky recarp the half where the Perry Mason Studios are investigated.  The first half of this episode is here, in The Assent of K2.

TM:  Red Skelton Studios, and speak for yourself regarding mentally challenged.  You know, it strikes me that there are an awful lot of clowns involved in this episode.

MB:  I’d like to see Perry Mason investigate TAPS.  Then they’d be sorry.

perry mason 2

TM:  Grant wouldn’t stand a chance.   If Perry Mason grilled him, he’d admit to building Al Capone’s vaults.

Same disclosure applies per The Assent of K2..

TAPS has finished “investigating”  at the house that is sort of but not exactly on the site of the Manson murders, and is moving on to Muppet misdeeds.

Case #2

Hollywood, California – Henson Studios

Wednesday 4:20 PM

Grant: “So Jim Henson Studios.”

Jason: “Yeah.”

Grant: “This is interesting, huh?”

Jason interviews: “We’re all pretty excited about going to the Henson Studios ‘cause a lot of the claims of activity.”

Donna, in boss car: “You know I was talking to a few people over there and the activity is constant, it’s occurring, and it’s recent, too.”

MB: Donna has some weird speech patterns.

TM: Leave Donna alone!

MB: Okay!

Grant: “Sweet.”

They pass Grauman’s Theater, with stars visible on the sidewalk.

TM: Big Bird has a star, you know.

MB: I did not. Judge Judy and Big Bird. Huh.

TM: TAPS may end up there yet.

MB: The glaciers can’t get here too soon.

Tango, in van: “This studio used to Charlie Chaplin’s place, right?”

Steve: “Yeah.”

Tango: “Awesome. I’m a fan of his.”

Steve: “It is awesome.”

Jason on radio: “Well, cool, guys. We’re almost there so – uh – let’s just check it out.”

MB: The lameness. I want to give them all crutches.

TM: This is what – like their 50 millionth episode…

MB: Let’s see – oh, my lord. This is the 44th.

TM: Do you want to know how many there are in all?

MB: What do you think?

TM: As of this week, 111. One hundred and eleven.

MB: Jesusmaryandjoseph did I say I wanted to know? We’ve only done what – twenty percent?  Why did I ever think this was a good idea?

TM: Ideas always start out good.  Well.

The Investigation

Hollywood, California – Henson Studios

Wednesday 4:45 PM

Jason: “Hey, I’m Jason from TAPS?”

Unidentified man: “Hi.”

Jason: “How ya doin’?”

Grant: “Grant. How ya doin’?”

Man: “Hi. Good to meet you.”

Steve: “I’m Steve.”

Man: “Hi, Steve. My name’s Johan.”

Grant: “So what can you tell us about this place?”

Man: “This place was built in 1917 by Charlie Chaplin.”

Jason: “So we hear there’s a lot of paranormal history as well over here.”

TM: Oh, dear. They’re all dying.

MB: If only.

Johan Filla, Studio Employee is finally introduced to us: “I’ve been here six and a half years and since day one that I’ve worked here – uh – there’s – almost everybody’s had some kind of encounter or experience.

Johan interviews: “I wanted TAPS to come and investigate because people have seen numerous things and nobody can actually explain ‘em, and I though it’s be great to have these guys come out with all their equipment and check out the property and see if we can find something, get something on tape.”

MB: I don’t think the Jim Henson Studios need the publicity, so really, the why question remains.

TM: I bet they wanted to go to Universal for Lon Chaney and Thomas Ince, but Universal didn’t want them.

MB: But here?

TM: I think Mr. Filla won an office make-a-wish lottery. Or maybe he lost.

Johan in scene, outside the building, under a long second-floor balcony: “I had my own personal experience right here. It was right up on the roof line up there . One evening I was talking with somebody and out of the corner of my eye I see some movement and I looked up and I seen a dark figure wearing a – like old top hat and old coat, walkin’ up on the roof, and I go racin’ up the steps to tell ‘em to get the heck off the roof and nothing was there.”

They move indoors.

Johan: “”This is where – uh – we build puppets.”

Grant: “Wild.”

MB:  Wild?

TM:  Perhaps it’s the Rhode Island for cool, pronounced wicked in Massachusetts.

MB:  Far oot.

Johan: “And we had an employee here – uh – workin’ over there and he saw an apparition of a woman.”

John Criswell, Animatronics Supervisor: “From out of the corner of my eye I – I saw this woman. She had this – this real – um – distinct black hairdo, probably from the 40s maybe, and she went from left to right, and I looked over and to – just finish her – literally disappear into this wall”

Johan: “Well, before I take you into the stage, I’d like to talk to you about this hallway. Uh – this door has been known to open and close by itself, and also people have seen a woman walk through the hallway and just disappear into the door at the end of the hallway.”

Jason: “All right.”

Johan: “And now into the stage.”

Jason: “Let’s do it.”

Grant: “Cool.”

Johan: “And this is the original sound stage – uh – back then it was open air. Superman, George Reeves was shot here, along with Perry Mason.”

Grant: “Holy cow.”

MB: Perry Mason!

TM: Nobody every mentions Red Skelton owned the place.  You know, it strikes me that a lot of clowns are involved in this episode.

MB: I never liked Clem Kadiddlehopper, either.

Johan: “There are times when these barbers [?] would rattle for no apparent reason, and also people would hear voices up in the catwalk. People have seen a short, dark-complected person with a handlebar mustache – uh – walk away from this area.”

Jason: “All right, Johan. Appreciate the tour, man.”

Grant: “Yeah, this is a great place.”

Johan: “You’re welcome.”

Jason: “What we’re gonna do from here is set up all the – uh – equipment and see if we’re able to catch some of this activity. There seems to be enough of it.”

Jason interviews: “Yeah, this place is incredible. There’s a lot of claims of activity. Everything from full-body apparitions, to – uh – doors opening and closing, objects moving. I’m just ecstatic to be here and – uh – I’m hoping to catch some of this activity that they have.”

MB:  He is never going to learn how to pronounce “ecstatic.”

TM:  He’s not an ecstatic kind of guy.  He shouldn’t need to.

Steve interviews: “I can’t believe I’m here in this studio. We have – uh – open-door access. I’m in places that nobody gets to go, I’m in heaven. I mean this is – this is amazing for me.”

TM: It is always such a thrill to get to see mop closets and boiler rooms.

MB: Some people might enjoy boiler rooms. Especially people who don’t get to go to Ireland.

TM: I guess Steve won’t be accessing the catwalks.

Jason: “So we’re good to go, guys, so pretty much let’s bring some digital recorders and – uh – let’s get lights out.”

There is a group chorus of okays and let’s do its. Go team. Lights out.

Grant: “All right.”

Jason: “Let’s head out and do a thermal sweep.”

Soundstage 7:40 PM

Grant: “All right. Studio.”

The FLIR thermal imaging camera screen indicates it is 11/10/06 at 11:40:43, if we are to believe it.

Jason: “A lot of the reports in here were that they see a short little guy who had a tendency to turn off the power. I’m getting some hot spots in here from the computer or something.”

Now it’s suddenly 12:47:48, same day, per the FLIR.

Grant: “Look at that! What is that? See it moving right there?”

Jason: “Do you wanna rewind the tape?”

Grant: “Jeez.”

Jason, sotto voce: “That looked like a body. I think we caught something.”

The Investigation

Hollywood, California – Henson Studios

Wednesday 8:37 PM

Now the FLIR is back to 11:35.

Grant: “That was over there, right?”

Jason: “Yeah.”

Grant: “What is that?”

And the FLIR is back to 12:42:51 again.

Grant:  “Look at that. Look look look. Boom.”

Jason: “Ooh. What the heck was that? Go back.”

And we have returned to 11:41:30 on the thermal imaging camera.

Grant: “Jeez. Look at that.”

Jason: “Wow.”

Jason interviews: “Grant and I decided to head into the soundstage and start a thermal sweep and right away we got a thermal hit and it sorta disappeared as fast as it came.”

Jason in scene: “That looked like a body.”

Grant: “It did, and it moved behind something.”

And now the FLIR is back to 12:47.

Jason: It almost looks like a lady.”

MB:  I will never get why they think an incorporeal presence is going to show up as a thermal body.  Why didn’t they run over and tackle it?

TM:  Because tackling ladies is uncouth.  Plus all evidence indicates they still believe in the grost.

MB:  Ghant.

Grant: “Mm hmm. Where were you pointing it when you did that?”

They take themselves and FLIR over to site of supposed ghost sighting.

Jason: “Right over here.”

Grant: You’re getting nothing.”

Jason: “Nothing.”

Grant: “Not even signs of footprints.”

Jason: “Not even a heat signature.”

Of course, they can’t allow us to see nothing on the FLIR, because why would we want to see nothing? Unless nothing is not there.

MB:  Why do we have to not see no footprints?  Surely they could have arranged that at least.

TM:  Because all the hooey is obscuring the footprints that are not there.

Jason interviews: “So Grant and I caught what almost appeared to look like a woman on the thermal.”

The Barn 4 hours into investigation

Donna: “I wonder where the staffer saw the apparition…Did you just say ‘Tango Tango’?”

Tango: “No.”


Tango: “Did you hear Tango Tango?”

Donna: “I did. I heard [whispers] ‘Tango Tango.’”

Tango: “Are you serious?”

Donna: “I swear, yeah.”

Tango, to recorder: “Mark that Donna heard ‘Tango Tango.’”

Donna interviews: “Tango and I are in what they call the Barn and I thought he said to himself Tango [whispers] ‘Tango Tango’ in a whispery voice.”

MB: I think she heard mumbo jumbo.

TM: Or mambo mambo. Hey Mambo.

MB: Mambo italiano?

TM: I suddenly want fish enchiladas.

Tango: “Is someone here? What was that? Does it sound like a parrot?”

Donna: “Uh – yeah. What is that? Did you hear a ‘ssh’?”

Tango: “Yes.”

Donna: “You did?”

Tango: “Yes. What is goin’ on here?”

Soundstage 1:20 AM

Grant interviews: “J. and I decided to start out the night by investigating the soundstage. We caught a thermal hit. Um – upon reviewing it, we found that there was what looked like a figure in the room, and instantly you want to try to debunk it. You wanna figure out what it is.”

MB:  We do.

TM:  We do.

The FLIR image we’re shown is now at 12:47. I’m getting seasick.

Grant in scene: “All right, this is perfect. Get it behind the (?).”

They are shoving crates and equipment around.

Grant: “All right, I’ll be on thermal duty.”

Grant interviews: “So we went back on the tape and got the footage and tried to line it up with that footage.”

Grant in scene: “Yeah, you’d actually have to be even higher.”

Jason: “I’m two feet off the friggin’ground. What is this thing – nine feet tall?”

MB:  There. It’s definitely Big Bird.

TM: Big Bird is only 8’-2” you know.

MB: I was using my literary license. At least there is such a thing as a literary license. There is no license for paranormal chicanery.

The FLIR tape of their debunking set-up now says it’s 11/10/06 and 10:15:39, which means either they are doing their debunking before the actual incident or TAPS has discovered a major flaw in the space-time continuum.

TM: It’s Hollywood, after all. They film out of order there all the time.

MB: This is so stupid, I’d quit right here, except we’re almost at the end.

TM: We could leap ahead and do the end first, like TAPS.

MB: I happen to believe in linear time, in this reality anyway.

TM: Linear thinking is for saps.

Grant: “Put your left arm like to your side or behind you.”

Jason: “All right.”

Grant: “Now lean to your right a little bit. Boom – that’s it.”

And now we are shown the two FLIR images side by side, same day, “ghost at 12:47, and “attempted debunking” at 10:15, or, in most people’s reality, two and a half hours earlier.

MB: Okay, never mind that TAPS seems to have found the secret to reversing the flow of time, what kind of ghost has a heat signature that is the equivalent of a live human being?

TM: Look how hot Jason’s head is!

MB:  That figure is a human being.  A live one.

TM:  Or it could be a very recently deceased human being who is somehow walking upright.

MB:  You don’t mean…

TM: Yes.  Zombies are the dark secret behind the muppet empire.  The Jim Henson Studios are a hotbed of zombies.  Or, more likely,  it’s Grant.

Grant: “We found that J. had to be about three feet off the ground in order to recreate this image, so whatever was there was – gone in an instant and was floating three feet off the ground.”

The Barn 9 hours into investigation

Steve: “All right, Dave. Let’s head to the back.”

Steve interviews: “Tango and I are here in the Barn and we’re going to do some EVP work.”

Tango: “Last time we heard both things over in this area.”

TM: Did they ever look for a parrot?

MB: What gives me the heebie-jeebies is that it might be a Muppet.  Because you know, I was just joshing about Big Bird.

TM: A possessed Muppet would be better than a zombie. A possessed Big Bird would be – okay, now I’m scared.

Steve interviews: “Tango and Donna claim they heard some voices and heard some different noises so we wanna be able to capture that.”

Steve in scene: “Is anybody here with us? Can you please make a noise? Let us know you’re here?”

Tango: “Please show yourself. We need to know that you’re here.”

Steve goes quizzical-looking and points: “Did you hear that?”

There is a long silence.

Tango, whispering: “I heard a popping.”

Steve: “Can you talk to us? Is there anything you’d like to say?” In sotto cove: “It didn’t sound like it was coming from any…” He stops and whirls. “You heard that. I know you heard that.”

Tango looks in the same direction.

Steve interviews: “We would hear strange noises. Hopefully, something is gonna come out in our recorder that we can – uh – you know – have as evidence.”

Elsewhere, Jason and the gang are sitting around waiting for quitting time.

Jason: “Well, I – I’m figuring it’s getting’ late or it depends on how you look at it- early. {chorus of hos] So – why don’t we – uh – break it down, call it a night?”

We see Jason winding extension cords. What does it mean?

TM: It means Brian isn’t here.

MB:  Oh.  Right.

Jason interviews: “I know a lot of people have had some personal experiences here tonight, so there might be some – uh – credence to what they state over here as paranormal activity going on.”

Steve is walking by a ramp entrance that has been cordoned off with yellow caution tape. As he passes by, the tape falls down all by itself. The camera lingers on this spookiness.

TM: Steve is an electromagnetic phenomenon.

MB: He probably had a string attached to that.

Grant interviews: “I was pleasantly surprised with this place. I think we’re gonna find some good stuff.”

Jason: “Hey, Johan.”

Johan: “Hey.”

Jason: “We appreciate everything tonight, man.”

Grant: “It’s been a night, I tell ya.”

Johan: “Well, thank you guys for comin’ out.”

Jason: “We’re gonna analyze everything we’ve gathered here and we’ll come back, sit down with you, and let you know.”

Johan: “Okay, great.”

Grant: “All right?”

Jason: “I’ll see ya later.”

Grant: “Get some sleep, Johan.”

Johan: “All right, thanks. Bye.”

Johan interviews: “When TAPS comes back, I’m sure they’ll have some proof that there is somethin’ goin’ on.”

MB: Oh, god. I can’t take much more of this.

TM: We’re almost done. Just some fake analysis and a fake reveal.

Jason, in car: “Well, I’m just psyched about the investigation, man. That was awesome.”

Grant: “Good job, good job, good job.”

Jason: “Yep.”

TM: Well, words are failing even me here.

MB: I like the way Grant is always responsible for telling people to get some sleep, while Jason tells them how wonderful it all was. It’s the TAPS dance.

TM: Mambo!

The Analysis

Hollywood, California – Henson Studios

Friday 9:05 AM

Steve interviews: “Tango and I are getting ready to read the evidence for the Henson studios. We have a lot of stuff to go through, a lot of mini-DVs, a lot of thermal footage, uh – we have a lot of DVR to go over and tons of audio to listen to.”

Steve in scene: “Um – I’ll take mini-DV and uh – wireless.”

Tango: “Okay. All right.”

They set to “work” for a brief interlude of silence.

Tango: “Steve. Yeah. Yeah, I found that spot.”

Steve: “Thermal?”

Tango: “Yeah. Right there.”

Steve: “That really does look like a woman.”

Tango: “It does.”

TM: I do think it’s Grant with a wig.

MB: Jason is taller.

TM: I don’t think Jason would wear a wig. But Grant totally would.

MB: You don’t suppose it’s Donna?

TM: No! Never!

Steve: “Which is interesting because there’s no reports of a woman apparition seen in the soundstage.”

MB: Except there were reports of women apparitions everywhere else, so big deal. Where does he think that woman was going when she went through the wall, fer crissakes?

TM: If they’re reversing the flow of time, I hesitate to speculate.


Tango: “Hey, Steve.”

Steve: “Yes, Tango.”

Tango: “I found that spot.”

Steve: “Which one?”

Tango: “That Donna and I – with the ‘shush’.”

Steve: “Oh, nice. Seriously?”

Tango: “Yeah.” He hands head phones over.

Steve: “Okay. Oh, yeah. I heard that, Tango.”

Tango: “You heard that?”

Steve: “Yeah.”

MB: Remember how I’m always saying I find this inane sort of dialogue amusing?

TM: Mm.

MB: I think my sense of humor has filed for divorce.

TM: You’re probably up on cruelty charges.

The Findings

Hollywood California – Henson Studios

Friday 6:45 PM

TM: Well, they couldn’t have had that much evidence to go through if it only took two of them nine hours to go through, assuming they took a lunch break, and I assume they did.

MB: They don’t have to go through evidence anymore. They just make it up, so they know exactly where it is, right?

TM: That certainly would be more efficient.

Steve: “Hey, guys.”

Grant: “Guys, Jim Henson Studios – how cool was that?”

Tango: “Very cool.”

Steve: “Yeah, that was awesome.”

Jason, grinning in anticipation, since he already knows about Big Bird, of course: “So what’d we end up getting?”

Steve: “Um – one sound clip. This is from the Barn area.”

Jason: “Yeah.”

Steve: “So I’ll play that for you.”

We hear a clip of a hiss.

Grant: “Sounds more like ‘psst.’”

Jason: “Something hmm – sounds hmm [spying?]. Yeah, it is.”

Steve: “Hmm, you know they do make a lot of puppets there and I bet a lot of the equipment they use might use hydraulics.”

Jason: “They all do.”

Steve: “That could be a little discharge or a little bleed-off or something possibly.”

Tango: “Yeah.”

Jason: “All right, well – did we catch any – anything else?”

Steve: “Well, we looked over – uh – the thermal that – uh – “

Jason: “Yep.”

Steve: “You guys said that you thought you saw a female – um – apparition.”

TM:  Do you think Steve knows?

MB:  Eh, he always sounds like he can’t remember his lines.  I have no idea.  But if he doesn’t, he’s even denser than I thought.  Body!  Over 90 degrees Fahrenheit!

Grant: “The weird thing about this was just how – not necessarily the form but what happens to…”

Jason: “Right there.”

Grant: “You know, it just…”

Tango: “Yeah.”

Grant: “Like just disappears.”

Steve: “Guys, I did some research on – on the Henson property and uh – on the history and a lot of the reports are of a female apparition being sighted by employees and patrons in the soundstage.”

MB: Quelle surprise!

TM:  Scherzate!

Grant: “Hmm. That’s nice. That’s a – that’s a spot of verification, you know?”

Jason: “All in all, we caught some good stuff. I think we were able to shoot down some stuff. All right, well – make us a copy of it and we’ll go show him. All right?”

Tango: “Will do.”

Steve: “All right.”

Grant: “Good job, you guys.”

Jason interviews: “I think the fact that Steve pulled up during research that a woman had been seen on the soundstage – uh – many times in the past is huge. I mean that helps solidify what we were able to catch on the thermal.”

The Reveal

Hollywood, California – Henson Studios

Saturday 4:25 PM

Grant: “What up, Johan? How you doin’?”

Johan: “Good, good. How you doin’?”

Jason: “Good to see you again, man.”

Johan is tapping the table top in front of him as if it is a pair of bongos.

Johan: “Glad to find out if you guys caught anything.” He is so damn happy.

MB:  I hate that they’re playing Johan.

TM:  He works around puppets.  He’s used to it.

Jason: Well, you know what we did. We came in, we listened to the claims of activity. Then we ended up setting up all our equipment and trying to capture some of that evidence that you guys have all experienced. There were a few personal experiences that were gathered that night. A couple of our members were in the Barn area in the back and – uh – they head a couple voices.”

Johan: “Really?”

Jason: “Yeah.”

Grant: “And when Steve was in that area, too, he thought – he kept hearing footsteps around him or down at the further end of it.”

Jason: “Yeah.”

Grant: “Um – but we weren’t able to catch these on any kind of equipment to share with you.”

Johan: “Ah, that’s too bad.”

MB: Poor Johan is so disappointed.

TM: But wait, Johan! There’s more!

Jason: “There is one thing that we captured right here.”

Johan: “Really?”

Jason: “In this room.”

Grant: “We were in this room probably about five minutes and whammo.”

Jason: “Now watch.”

The clip of the ghost of Big Bird from 12:47 is played.

Johan: “Whoa. That’s just – amazing. That looks like a woman.”

Jason: “That’s exactly what we thought so we ended up trying to synch it up and lemme go a little forward and we’ll show ya.”

The clip from 10:15 of Jason, is played.

Jason: “Now this is me. As you can see, it’s pretty much lined up exactly the same.”

Now they’ve got the two clips on screen together. Surely Johan will notice that little problem with the time stamp, won’t he?

Jason: “We needed to move stairs over there and get myself three feet off the ground to match up to what we caught just prior.”

Nope, of course he doesn’t. Who can blame him? Why would the Ghost Hunters fake a ghost in a haunted building? Who in his right mind would ever suspect them of doing that?

TM: As opposed to faking a debunking in a haunted building, or faking a non-debunking in a haunted building, or not debunking a faking in a haunted building, or…

MB: ?

TM:  I think I’m done.

Johan: “Really?”

Grant: “If you look, the stairs are actually still over there.”

Jason: “Yeah, it’s a good piece of evidence.”

Johan: “Glad you guys got somethin’.”

TM:  Even if it is totally bogus!

MB:  Johan doesn’t know.

TM:  Oh, surely he’s figured it out by now.

Grant: “When we went on the tour with you, we were told about a female spirit out in the hallway and I think out in the – in the Barn area but no mention was made of anything really in here. We had one of our members, Steve, do some research and he found out that one of the major reports is of a woman walking around in the soundstage, which…”

To emphasize this incredible piece of hard-hitting investigation, the editors again show us the clip of Steve talking to some guy somewhere, presumably uncovering the astounding coincidence.

Johan: “Really?”

Grant: “Was a nice little point of verification.”

Jason: “That helps definitely solidify those claims.

MB: I should say something here, but really, it’s like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon.

TM: Trying to dam the Mississippi with Dixie cups.

MB: Trying to – oh, forget it. I’m spent.

Johan interviews: “It definitely proves to me that there’s somethin’ – somethin’ or someone – uh – hangin’ around here.”

Jason: “I have to agree with you.”

Johan: “I think more on the friendly side, too.”

Grant: ‘Yeah, I think comfort in the fact that this place has been around for so long and no one’s really had any negative run-ins with anything paranormal here. If at any time it does get out of control, give us a call.”

MB: Because that would be fab, although I think they may have burnt their bridge to the muppet empire here.

TM: Ghosts are such wusses. Grant prefers elementals.

MB: Jason loves demons.

TM: They’re really hoping business picks up with the Apocalypse.

Johan: “Oh, we will.”

TM: When hell freezes over.

Jason: “Oh, we’ll – we’ll be back in a heartbeat. Well, Johan – really wanna say thank you for havin’ us. You guys have been wonderful.”

Johan: “Oh, great. Thank you very much for comin’.”

Grant mumbles something inane.

Jason: “Not a problem. C’mon. Let’s get outta here.”

Johan: “All right.”

TM: They’re taking everyone to dinner out here. What are we having for lunch?

MB: Not fish enchiladas.

Johan interviews: “Oh, definitely TAPS has confirmed that there is some haunting or something happening here.”

In the car, Grant finds a surprise on his laptop computer!

Grant: “Hey, J. – I just got this in. Check this out.”

Jason: “Who is it?”

Grant: “It’s a video from Brian.”

Brian, on video: “Hey, everybody. Uh – sorry I couldn’t come to L.A. with everybody but I – uh – I wanna show you somebody. This right here is McKenzie Lee Harnois.”

Jason: “Ha ho. That’s awesome.”

Grant: “Oh my gosh, look at her.”

Brian: “This is the main reason why I didn’t go to L.A. with the gang. Family comes first and now I gotta wonderful little girl.”

Jason: “There’s no question that family first all the time.”

Grant: “Fair enough.”

On video, Brian talks baby talk and smooches baby McKenzie Lee Harnois.

Grant: “Fair enough. We’ll let it slide this time, Bri.”

Jason: “Yeah.”

TM: But next time, Bri…

MB: Jeezum crow. I’m exhausted. That was – how can something be totally outrageous and incredibly boring at the same time?

TM: It’s positively supernatural.

MB:  But Brian’s baby is cute.

TM:  Brian’s baby is cute.

MB:  And somewhere Perry Mason is rolling over in his fictional grave.

perry mason


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