Holy Grail, Holy Crap

Mme. Blahblatsky and the Talking Mongoose recarp the Crescent Hotel, episode 213 of the second season of the make-believe reality show Ghost Hunters, in which a couple of Rhode Island plumbers try to improve their fortunes through hornswoggling the ever-gullible public, which is us.

MB:  Are us?

TM:  Silly silly Joe the Plumber, trying to make a living plumbing.

MB:  If he were smart, he’d be out pretending to hunt for ghosts with a camera crew.

TM:  It’s  the American dream.

Disclaimer:  Mme: Blahblatsky did not make up any of the quoted dialogue.  She swears.  It all belongs to Pilgrim Films and Television, Inc., who we suspect are putting it in old oil drums and dumping it somewhere south of Block Island.

Narrator: “On this episode of Ghost Hunters, TAPS travels to Arkansas to investigate a hotel with a macabre history. Will the spirit that haunts the morgue reveal itself? And then, Jason challenges a medium to prove his psychic abilities, and the tech team has an eye opening experience.”

TM:  Did you know the narrator is sort of famous? He has a t.v. show in which he does things like work as a hippopotamus keeper, a charcoal maker, an owl vomit collector…

MB:  Hippopotamus keeper – jeepers.  Did he have to get in the water with them? That would be icky.

TM:  I don’t know.  That’s not the point.  He’s making a perfectly good living on his own.

MB:  I would not call wallowing in hippo poop perfectly good.  Oh.  And yet he’s still narrating for this crappy show.

TM:  Dirty Jobs.  He’s obsessed.

MB:  Evidently.  It’s sad, isn’t it?

TM:  Maybe hippo poop is a refreshing change.  Farming maggots might be delightful in comparison to reading drivel dramatically.

MB:  I still think he must cry himself to sleep at night.  But wait – this is the episode with the fabulously creepy ghost on the thermal imaging camera.  Why are we going here now?

TM:  Oh, Mme.

MB:  Oh, no.

TM:  Oh, yes.

MB:  God damn it all to hell.  Will you leave me nothing?

TM: I’m sorry.

During the narrator’s introduction to tonight’s apparent folderol (per the goddamn Talking Mongoose), we see scenes with talk of body-parts storage, full-body apparitions, Grant’s mind blown, an insane something or other happening to Jason at a psychic’s house, and Steve and Dustin finding boogeymen in the woods.

MB:  No boogeymen, either, I suppose.

TM:  Ha.  Ha ha ha ha ha.

Brian is still visible in the credits – the back of his head, and part of a profile. Andy and Carl are in the credits, but where are they really? They must have actual jobs.

TM:  Not everyone can run off to Arkansas at the drop of a wrench.

The horrible swingy traveling music introduces the ever-popular Roto-Rooter van. Jason and Grant are “plumbing” somewhere, wearing rubber gloves.

Jason: “So I was talkin’ to Donna about this – uh – place in Arkansas, Eureka Springs? It’s the Crescent Hotel – literally strange history behind it.”

Grant: “Like what?”

Jason: “They’ve witnessed apparitions of a doctor that used to be on staff walking down the hallway, voices. Uh – it’s a hotel now but at one point it was a – a fake cancer-killing place.”

Grant makes a face: “Eww.”

Jason: “Yeah. So the basement used to be pretty much a morgue. So there’s a lot of activity down there as well. So they just want us to come up, check the place out.”

Grant nods: “Cool! Yeah, it sounds good.”

Jason: “Let’s do it.”

A cut to Dave Tango emerging from the TAPS alley in downtown Warwick, carrying equipment.

Grant interviews: “We’re really interested in the Crescent Hotel case. It sounds like it’s got amazing history. The whole town of Eureka Springs is built on these cold natural springs and – uh – there’s a theory out there that the whole town is haunted.”

TM:  Does that mean a ghost in every house?  Or just a ghost on every block?  Or maybe there are only a few ghosts but they move around a lot?

MB:  Stupid color commentary.  If the “whole” Queen Mary wasn’t haunted, I doubt that the whole of Eureka Springs can be.  Unless there’s a ghost in every house.

TM:  That would be different.

Donna, Dustin, Steve, Jason and Grant march out to the parking lot, followed by the still fetching-and-carrying Dave. The black caravan (two SUV’s and the tech van) saddles up and moves out.

Donna, atypically driving, carols: “Here we come, Arkansas! Watch out!”

TM;  Yeah, Arkansas, watch the hell out.

MB:  It’s nice of Donna to warn them.

TM:  Do you think Donna knows, or at least suspects, she’s not working with the Boy Scouts of America?

MB:  No.  It’s not like she’s psychic.

Steve: “It’s gonna be one looooonng drive, but when we get there hopefully it will be worth it.”

TM: It’s only 1,462 miles!  Just a nice 24-hour drive.  A mere weekend jaunt for The Atlantic Paranormal Society, surely.

MB:  What ever happened to those complaining wives?

TM:  I think they got bought new Volvo station wagons and shut the heck up.

We pass highway signs for New Jersey, Ohio, and Indiana.

Jason: “Hey, Arkansas state line.”

TM:  Missouri, the “Show Me” state, wouldn’t let them through.

Donna, still driving – now with one hand, yells into her radio: “Woo hoo!”

Steve: “Oh. We’re in Arkansas finally.”

MB:  And there, in a nutshell, is the difference between Donna and Steve.  Light and dark.

TM:   Cheese and chalk.

MB:  The half-full glass vs…

TM:  Chocolate and carob.

MB:  I can’t even…

TM:  Apples and rutabagas.

MB:  We’re done.

Arkansas has rolling green hills and limestone terraces.

Grant: “This is pretty nice.”

Jason: “I’ve gotta say, it’s actually beautiful. I never expected this for Arkansas.”

MB:  For crissakes it’s the OZARKS.  What did he expect?  Strip mines?

TM:  According to the Sterns, Arkansas is one of the seven top states for pie.  I want to see pie.

A “Welcome to Eureka Springs” sign welcomes us to Eureka Springs, which looks pretty picturesque.

Jason: “Cool thing here, guys, is this time we can check into the hotel and we go right into the investigation.”

MB:  They could have done that on the Queen Mary.

TM:  That hasn’t happened yet.

MB:  But this is episode 213.

TM:  It is over a month before the California vacation.

MB:  They didn’t even drive to California from here?

TM:  No.

MB:  So when do they plumb?

TM:  I’m guessing nights and weekends.

Steve: “Excellent.”

Donna: “Sounds good to me.”

A sign indicates the Crescent Hotel was built 1886.

TM:  That graphic designer should be sued.

MB:  It is a little jarring.  But not worse than the Winchester Mystery House signs.

TM:  Someday it will seem quaint, I suppose.

MB:  And someone will pay a lot of money to reproduce it.

TM:  Early 21st-century northwestern Arkansas interpretation of late-20th-century American graphic design zeitgeist.

MB:  Okay, maybe not.

It’s a large, 3-story limestone building with a multi-dormered roof and a lot of chimneys. The caravan sweeps up to the front entrance canopy, and doors open. Jason and Grant go inside. Two men are waiting for them.

Jason: “Hey. How you doin?”

Thirty-something Jack Moyer, Hotel General Manager: “Great.”

Jason: “Jason from TAPS.”

Jack: “Jack Moyer. I’m the hotel general manager. Welcome to the Crescent Hotel and Spa.”

Jason: “This place is incredible.”

Jack: “Thank you. Ken is our Eureka Springs historian. He’d like to show you around.”

Jason: “Awesome.”

THE INVESTIGATION

CRESCENT HOTEL

SATURDAY 3:13 PM

Ken, who seems to be of a more sedate age than his charges,  ushers them into a large dining room.

Ken Fugate, Historian: “The hotel was built in 1886 and over here at this table – um – is a gentleman that sits here.”

Jason: “This table right here?”

Ken: “He’s from the Victorian era. His name is Jacob, and it’s kind of a romantic story. What happened was he fell madly in love with this young lady, and he sits here at the table and he’s waiting for her to come to breakfast.”

Jason: “Now how do – how do you know that story?”

Ken: “It’s old stories that people have been telling since the Victorian days.”

TM:  Meaning it’s a bunch of embroidered hooey.

MB:  Hush.  I’ll take any crumbs of back story I can get.  Would you rather watch them unload extension cords?

TM:  We’re going to have to do that anyway.

The camera zips upstairs and down a hall.

Ken: “This room right here was Dr. Ellis’s office. He was a staff physician.”

Grant interviews: “Dr. Ellis was a well-respected physician back in the 1880’s. He really believed that these springs had healing power.”

Ken: “People report seeing a man dressed in Victorian outfit. The vision they have is him coming out of the elevator here and walking straight across and just straight through the door.”

Jason: “Where we gonna be heading now?”

Ken: “Uh – we’re going to go up to the fourth floor.” He stops in front of a door. “This is 419. A lot of people have reported – uh – you wake up the next morning and your clothes are neatly packed against the door.”

MB:  What, packed in a suitcase?  Or just stacked?

TM:  Neither.  It’s hooey.

Grant: “Against this door?”

Ken: “Yes, against the exterior of the door.”

Grant: “I’d love to stay in this. Is it possible we could get…”

Ken: “Uh – I will certainly get you the key. Let’s go on down to the hospital morgue.”

Grant interviews: “Back in the 1930’s, the Crescent Hotel was bought out by pretty much con artist who thought he had a magical cure for cancer, but – uh – the claims he made ended up just killin’ – uh – hundreds of people.”

MB:  Either he was a con artist or he thought he had a magical cure.

TM:  Either TAPS is a bunch of con artists or they think they have scientific proof of ghosts.

MB:  If you’re implying both realities can exist within the same space-time continuum, I suppose you have a point.

TM:  No.  Actually I was just calling TAPS a bunch of con artists.  Except for Donna, of course.

Jason: “This the place that they actually had the bodies?”

Ken: “Uh – correct. All the cancer patients – uh – received an autopsy, and I want to introduce you to one of our best artifacts that we have of the hospital period, and that’s this autopsy table.”

Grant: “Wuuuhh.”

Jason: “I’m a Roto-Rooter plumber. I actually had to work at a morgue one time. It’s a nasty job.”

TM: Hey, I don’t think the autopsy table is all that thrilled about meeting Grant and Jason, either.

MB:  I want to know how long the Crescent Hotel was really a “fake cancer-killing place.”

The morgue now has a boombox.

Ken: “Okay, what I want to show you now is a special room over here. In this room is where they stored the body parts that they were studying.”

Grant: “Ah, come on!”

Ken: “Yeah, and they were stored in large jars of formaldehyde, and the activity in this room is from the guard. He kind of feels hostile.”

TM:  And who wouldn’t be, if you had to guard body parts?

MB:  This is ridiculous.  Why would “they” be studying body parts if “they” had a miracle cure?  And especially if the miracle cure didn’t work.  I don’t believe there were any jars of body parts.   And anyway,  I don’t think body parts haunt places.

TM: Aren’t you the cynic now?

Grant: “Okay.”

Ken: “Um – so if you can give us some help with that we’d appreciate it.”

Grant: “Yeah, okay.”

Jack interviews: “We invited TAPS in because we hear all the time that we’re America’s most haunted hotel. We had employees that have had occurrences. Even I’ve had some strange things that have happened that I can’t – can’t explain. So we thought it was about time that we find out if we truly do have some spirits here at the hotel.”

TM:  They also thought it was time they got some national publicity.  They’re claiming to be America’s most haunted hotel.

MB:  I thought that was the Queen Mary.

TM:  I’m sure Jack would say that technically, the Queen Mary and the Crescent Hotel aren’t in direct competition.  Because – you know – the Crescent Hotel can’t claim to be an enormous ocean liner.  Also, their ads put in the qualifier “resort” for hotel, and I don’t think Long Beach qualifies as a resort, despite the beach.

MB:  I suppose there could be dozens of America’s most haunted hotels, then.

TM: I’m sure there already are.  Jason and Grant are going to open the most haunted inn owned by plumbers.

MB:  No way!

TM:  In the land of “Live Free or Die,” which seems appropriate.  Speaking of con artists,  I can tell you that the Crescent Hotel was a fake cancer-killing place for all of three years – 1937 to 1940, the year the owner got hauled off to Leavenworth for mail fraud.

MB:  Not enough people get hauled off to Leavenworth for fraud.

THE INVESTIGATION

CRESCENT HOTEL

SATURDAY 6:40 PM

The minions left cooling their heels outside want to know “what’s up” upon the return of their masters from the tour.

Jason: “Hey, this is gonna be a work-out, that’s what’s up.”

Grant: “It’s a big place. We got the dining room, we got the annex, we got all the way up to the fourth floor.”

Jason: “Also we got downstairs, we’ve got the morgue.”

Steve perks up: “Oh, can I go down there?”

Jason: “You can go down there after you get my equipment set up, you guys can go down there.”

Steve smiles happily.

MB:  He has got to be paying them.  Who would put up with such a pompous tyrant otherwise?  “After you get my equipment set up.”  Psshh.

TM:  I know you think Steve is a pill, but at least he seems to have a work ethic.  What I keep wondering is how much does he know and when did he know it, and how does he justify continuing with TAPS given what he must know by now.  I mean – he’s their go-to guy for everything.

MB:  And do you have a theory as to why he would sacrifice his self-respect to further this business endeavor of the two plumbers?

TM:  Yep.  Girls!  He gets girls.

Tables are toted, extension cords are extended.

Steve interviews: “This is a really tough set-up, so in order to move things along, Donna’s talkin’ to Jason and Grant about the camera set-up.”

MB:  And I smell trouble!

TM:  This sounds awfully familiar.

Steve, in scene: “Donna’s comin’ up with a list, I guess.”

Dustin: “Okay.”

Steve: “Donna, you got that list for us?”
Donna: “Yeah. Obviously one camera in the morgue, hopefully two.”

Steve: “Impossible. Uh – we won’t have a cord that reaches that far.”

Donna: “They said there’s a window back there that can run…”

Steve: “I don’t know. Again they don’t tell us anything so…” He is peeved.

Donna: “We need a camera in the hallway – um – near 203.”

Steve: “They said they told you where and when the phenomena is happening.”

Donna stares at her list and screws up her mouth.

Donna: “Sorry. I didn’t get that.”

Steve: “Okay.”

MB:  That look on his face!  Why doesn’t he just scream “Idiot!” at her and be done with it?

TM: Girls wouldn’t like it.

Steve interviews: “I think Jason and Grant should probably get a better system down. The plan of telling Donna where to set up the tech stuff clearly didn’t work.”

Donna is still sitting on the stairs, rubbing her head.

Donna: “Oh boy.”

Steve, in scene: “We don’t know where in the room to aim the cameras or where the cameras are goin’.”

TM:  This sounds so familiar.

MB:  Two words – Andy Andrews.

TM:  New York City!  Oh, jeez.  More sucky melodrama about nothing.

MB:  Either the Lead Investigators are as dumb as posts, or they do this on purpose.

Elsewhere, Ken is trying to hook TAPS up with more Eureka Springs ghosts.

Ken: “If you guys are going to be in town for a while – uh – there’s a house – uh – that is quite active. It was Dr. Ellis’s home.”

Grant: “Oh, from 212?”

Ken: “It’s known around town as the most haunted house – the most active house in town.”

MB:  “Active” must mean they have “paranormal issues.”

TM:  Is that a scenario or a situation?

MB:  I guess that’s what TAPS has to find out.

Jason: “Yeah, let us check our schedules, and squeeze that in, especially if it’s one of the most active houses.”

TM:  He’s got to see if he can squeeze it in between his Swedish massage and his rosemary mint body wrap at the New Moon Spa.

MB:  Ack.  Must you  put the image of Jason getting a massage into my head?

TM:  Mud bath?

MB:  Better.

Steve barges in.

Steve: “Hey, guys. Sorry to bust this up for a second. Donna said that you guys want cameras in hallways…”

Grant: “No, there’s not…”

Steve: ‘That’s what she told me – two hallways.”

Jason: “Nah, let’s go for a walk.”

Steve interviews: “There’s no communication between Jason and Grant and myself as to where the camera placement should be. Uh – for some reason they told Donna, which doesn’t make any sense ‘cause she’s not in the tech department.”

TM:  Poor Steve. I think they do this on purpose.

MB:  It must be awfully dull without Brian to chivy.

Everyone has assembled to watch this flare-up of the tech wars.

Grant: “Right, we don’t need any cameras in the hallway. We need a camera in…”

Steve: “No cameras in the hallway.”

Grant: “In 203, filming the hallway to the elevator. Sorry if we weren’t clear, Donna.”

Jason: “All right? 419, we’re puttin’ the camera in the room.”

Donna: “Okay.”

Grant: “High-8 in the morgue.”

Jason: “In the morgue.”

Steve: “Just for future, like, this is a whole step that could have been completely – you know – skipped if I had – if you had just told me instead. It just goes back like the Merchant House with Andy Andrews.”

MB:  What did I tell you???

Jason, pointing at Donna: “If you were Andy Andrews, he would have said ‘You should have known better.’”

TM:  See?  It’s because Donna is a girl.

Donna is chewing her pen.

Grant: “Ah, it would have been chaos.”

Jason: “So don’t even tell me…”

Jason interviews: “We understand Steve’s point of view – uh – with not knowing where the equipment’s going and everything else, and me and Grant have talked and we really need to start including him on the tours.”

TM:  You think?

MB:  Aha!  So if the Queen Mary took place after this, and they included Steve on the tour, they actually learned something.

TM:  Yeah, but they’ve got memories like sieves.  The New York City episode was less than a month ago.

MB:  Oh, well.  I don’t care.

The taping of cords and  aiming of cameras ensues.

Steve: “What are you doing to this tape?”

Dave is struggling to rip off a piece of duct tape.

Dave: “I don’t know.”

Steve: “You gotta pinch and pull. See – pinch…”

Dave: “Yeah.”

Duct tape master Steve demonstrates : “And pull.”

TM:  Is that really duct tape?

MB:  I don’t know.  What else would it be?

TM:  Gaffer tape.

MB:  Whatever.

Dave: “Sort getting it now. No, I’m not.”

The gaffer tape refuses to pinch and pull properly, and he throws down a wad in disgust. Then he passes his hands over a nearby camera.

Dave: “Oh, crap.”

Dustin comes in: “Did you just move that camera?”

Dave: “By mistake.”

Dustin claps a hand to his forehead.

Cut to Dustin carrying extension cords and camera upstairs. He tries to open the door to room 419, but it doesn’t open easily. He shoves at it, looking down at the floor, then reaches into the room and switches on the light.

Dustin interviews: “When I opened the door to Grant’s room, his computer bag was propped up against it from the inside. I thought that was really weird so I figured I’d better go back and talk to Grant about it.”

TM:  JESUS H. CHRIST HE’S DOING IT AGAIN!  He is shameless.

MB:  Dustin?

TM:  Grant!  I just know he propped his computer bag up against the door as he shut it.  That’s ridiculously easy.

MB:  Oh.  Yeah.  It is.  Hunh.

Dustin proceeds downstairs to Jason’s room 303.

Dustin: “Hey, guys? Dude, where did you have your laptop, when you left?”

Grant: “I think it was in front of the t.v.” He scratches his face.

Dustin: “Yeah, and when I tried to get in there, I couldn’t , because it was propped up against the door. I couldn’t get in the damn door.”

Jason is grinning like a fool and shaking his head.

Grant blinks and pulls a face: “Great, and I gotta sleep in there tonight?”

Dustin laughs and pats him on the shoulder: “It’s your room, big guy.”

Grant laughs.

MB:  Mummer.  Charlatan.   To think that I used to like Grant.

TM:  If they had smart clients, who weren’t necessarily looking for back-up to their claims to being the most haunted hotel in America or whatever,  the clients would tell Grant something wrong, like – the ghost always puts toothbrushes in the toilet and Grant would have to put his toothbrush in the toilet and then ha ha ha the joke’s on him.

MB:  I’d pay someone good money to do that.

TM:  I’d pay someone good money to get to see that.

MB:  It will never happen.

TM:  You never know.  We can hope.

Dustin, back in room 419: “So we’ll put the bag back in front of the t.v. where Grant had it and focus the camera on it and we’ll see if it moves again.”

At the 4-screen monitor, we see it’s June 9, 2005.

TM:  See?  New York City was just over three weeks ago, and the Queen Mary is over six weeks hence.

MB:  Stupid fake time-line.

TM:  That’s what I always said.  But I gave up.  I don’t care anymore.

MB:  Yeah. North Carolina should have taught me.

Steve: “Stop. Perfect.”

Jason: “We’re good. Let’s just kill all the lights.”

The ritual switching off of the lights is done to entice the ghosts out.

ROOM 2500

9:44 PM

Steve and Dave are looking for electromagnetic fields.

Steve: “The story in this room is that – uh – this is the room when patients couldn’t take it anymore and they were in so much pain that the drugs weren’t working anymore, so they would bring ‘em in here to basically sit until they died, and once they’re dead, they’d go down to the morgue. Something that’s interesting in this room is getting 2.0 all over the place.”

MB:  That Steve.  Such a graceful storyteller.

TM:  But he does work.

MB:  I wonder if he had to stop being a policeman because of his phobias.

TM:  Policemen don’t usually have to deal with spiders.

MB:  But chasing burglars down fire escapes, and rescuing small children from trees – he couldn’t do that.

TM:  Hmm.  I think his parents must have used him in terrible psychological experiments when he was a toddler, poor tot.

MB:  Or perhaps in a former life he was a squirrel with bad eyesight.

TM:  It’s nice he finally found something meaningful to do with his life.

MB:  What – setting up cameras for charlatans?

TM:  Getting girls, as an E-list “celebrity.”

MB:  E-list?

TM:  Okay, maybe F-list.

Grant interviews: “An EMF detector is design to detect strength of electromagnetic field.”

Steve: “2.8, 3.2.”

Grant interviews: “We’re looking for any kind of spikes, unexplainable electromagnetic fields.”

Dave: “Well, actually it goes up 2.5 on the bed. I don’t know if that’s coming up a lot. Back down to 1.”

Grant interviews: “But once we have the spike we just don’t call it paranormal activity. We then slowly try to locate where that spike is originating from.”

Steve: “Travel this way.”

Dave: “2.0, 2.1, 2.2, 1.5, 1.8, 3.3.”

Steve: “There we go. It’s coming from this frickin’ hot tub. Yeah, 3.1, 3.2.”

Elsewhere:

Dustin: Donna and I are heading to room 419, Grant’s room, where the computer bag moved.”

MB:  They went looking for some stupid EMF thing to debunk so we’d forget about Grant’s oh-so-conveniently relocated computer bag.

TM:  But we didn’t forget.

MB:  We’re not idiots.

TM: That’s debatable.

ROOM 419

2 HRS. INTO INVESTIGATION

Dustin: “We’re going to do an EMF sweep. Point 2, a point 2 reading.”

Donna takes pictures of nothing.

Dustin: “Are you the spirit that is moving things in this room? 1.4, 1.5. Do you have the camera, Donna? 1.4, 1.0. I did have a 1.4 at one point over here. Right now it’s just at point 8. My readings have dissipated. Point one again, point 2.”

MORGUE

1:09 AM

Jason and Grant are exploring with their beloved FLIR thermal imaging camera.

TM:  So here it comes, Mme.  Brace yourself, and again, I’m sorry.  But you had to find out.  And you’ll still have the Easter Bunny.

MB:  Oh, shut up.

Jason: “There’s the famous autopsy table. Man, that’s just freaky. Think of how many bodies were down here. Ah, boo – just the thought.” He drops his voice to a whisper: “I hate morgues. Oh god, I hate morgues.”

Grant: “Just to work in one…”

Jason: “Euh. Just the thought. Let’s check this room out.”

MB:  I never expected Jason to be quite so fastidious about death.

TM:  He’s a big old girl at heart.

MB:  Excuse me?

TM:  You know what I mean.

Grant: “Now this is the room that was filled with jars of formaldehyde and body parts.”

Suddenly there’s an extraneous-seeming image of person on the FLIR view-screen.

MB:  There it is.  I remember that scared the bejeebers out of me the first time I saw it.  So not a ghost?

TM: Ha!  Look at it!

Jason: “There’s something went right past me. Do me a favor – just rewind quickly. When we first came in, I was right on that cabinet.”

We see the image again, which appears to be a man in a short-sleeved shirt, leaning partway through a doorway, and then looking down at something.

Grant: “What the heck?!”

The FLIR footage is replayed again.

Grant, laughing: “Did you…?”

Jason: “Yeah, that was – that was a form. That was a form.”

Grant: “Holy crap! That’s freakin’ me out!”

MB:  It’s Grant?

TM:  It’s not bald.

MB:  But the hat?

TM:  You are suffering from an acute case of pareidolia.  Snap out of it, or I will have to sent you to Dr. Disillusion.

MB:  Damn.

THE INVESTIGATION

CRESCENT HOTEL

SUNDAY 1:13 AM

Jason interviews: “While me and Grant were checking out the morgue with the thermal imaging camera, I noticed something odd I just had never seen before. I immediately asked Grant to rewind the tape so I could see what we had caught on the thermal imaging camera, and – uh – upon him rewinding it, I can see a figure. I can see a figure standing right there in the door next to us.”

The scene has been replayed, in case we forgot during the ghost commercial.

Grant, in scene: “Oh sheesh!”

Grant interviews: “When Jason say rewind the tape, I was expecting a flash or something.”

Grant, in scene: “Holy crap!”

Grant interviews: “Normally when we catch something on the thermal imaging camera it’s not very impressive.”

Jason, in scene: “Oh my gosh – hang on. I gotta look at that again before I start flippin’ out.”

Grant interviews: “But there staring us down was this figure that was – no more than two feet away from me and obviously gave me chills. That kind of stuff just doesn’t happen very often. It’s the Holy Grail – uh – for us investigators, and to know that it happened right next to me – uh – [he shakes his head and shivers] really kind of freaks me out.”

Jason, in scene: “Hey, does it look like a hat? It looks like it’s wearing a hat?”

We see Jason and Grant in night-vision, staring at the FLIR view-screen, then the FLIR footage is replayed again.

Jason: “Like the brow? From a hat?”

An arrow helpfully directs us to what Jason is referencing.

Jason: “I really wasn’t sure if it was a apparition or Grant’s reflection.”

Grant: “You think that’s my reflection, J.?”

Grant interviews: “The image that showed up was so clear that I thought it’s got to be one of us.”

Grant, in scene: “Let’s just make sure it’s not my reflection.”

Grant interviews: “We immediately set about trying to [he pauses and looks to the side] make a reflection in that locker.”

Grant, in scene: “I was right about here.”

Jason: “Yeah.”

Grant: “You see me?”

Jason: “No.”

The FLIR view-screen is a big mess of green, and it’s saying its battery is low.

Grant: “Oh my gosh, I’m not there.”

Grant interviews: “We open up the locker in case someone was inside, but – uh – there’s no way someone could have ever stood inside it. It’s just a bunch of shelves in there.”

Jason, in scene: “That’s you, on camera.”

The battery is still low. Grant shows in a close-up view on the FLIR. Hmm. He does seem to have the very same shirt on as the ghost.

TM:  It’s a grost.   A ghant.

MB:  It’s Grant?

TM:  Go here now.  Rip the Band-aid off quickly.  Swallow the nasty Nyquil in one gulp.  Just do it.

Grant: “All right. Put it on the thing again.”

We view the locker with a stenciled “2” on it.

Jason: “It’s gone now.”

Grant: “Where is the 2?”

Uh – that battery is still low, if anyone cares.

Jason: “It’s right there.”

Grant: “Why was the 2 hot?”

Jason: “I don’t know.”

Jason interviews: “Me and Grant were looking at the locker and – uh – we kept seeing the 2 glowing red. There’s really no reason why that 2 should be red.”

Jason, in scene: “All right, look at the 2.”

Grant: “The 2 – is it black? ‘Cause maybe then it would retain heat. I – I’ll be honest. I’m tryin’ to think of anything.”

He waves a hand in front of the camera.

Grant: “Hell, it’s frickin’ spray-painted white.”

MB:  There’s not really any point in discussing this, is there?

TM: No, I think the guys at darkrealmlabs.com said at all. Except you might also read this, and then you could go here.  The picture of that gas burner there is worth about ten thousand words, by the way, if you’re at all foggy about what the FLIR can and cannot do.

MB:  So it’s just a reflection of Grant.

TM:  And a damn good one!

Jason interviews: “I – at first I thought it was Grant’s reflection, but it turns out it wasn’t. It’s somethin’ we’ve never caught or seen before but we really need to analyze it and try and understand it before we present it as evidence.”

MB:  Look at that innocent baby face on him!

TM:  He really really doesn’t want to go back to being a plumber is all.  “Cause you have to work in morgues and stuff.

Jason, in scene: “Dude, we gotta – we gotta show Steve that.”

The Lead Investigators take their thermal footage of the Ghant upstairs.

Jason: “I want you guys to take a look at something and give me your impression. Me and Grant were in the basement and we were walking around with the thermal.”

He displays the footage to the guys. There is a chorus of “AH!”s and nervous laughter.

Steve: “Lookit that!”

Dustin: “That’s unbelievable.”

Dave: “Scary, man.”

There are various expostulations. Grant is frowning.

Steve: “Are you serious? Tell me that’s a [?] joke.”

Jason: “Steve, Steve – you know I wouldn’t pull your leg on something like this. Gimme a break.”

MB:  Dave Tango’s left ear with its earring is stealing the scene here for some reason.

TM:  You know, we missed the whole “Dave Tango leaves New Jersey to come work for TAPS” business by skipping around.

MB:  Eh.  I suppose the television prospects were not as bright in New Jersey.

TM:  No, but think of him in his sad little Warwick apartment, away from family and friends, with only his paranormal library to keep him company.

MB:  Psshh.  Nobody in TAPS reads.  Well, I suppose Donna does.

TM:  Even worse! Nothing to do but – oh never mind.  I don’t care about Dave Tango, either.  He’s doltish, but nowhere near as amusingly doltish as Brian.

MB:  NOBODY CAN REPLACE BRIAN.

Dustin: “You can see like a whole outline. Like a whole figure. Wow. That’s…”

Grant: “No, it looks like – it looks like one of those army – the military hats.”

Dustin: “Wow, man. That’s unbelievable.”

Jason: “All right, I’m gonna stop it right here. I’m ejectin’ this and puttin’ a safeguard on the tape.”

Dustin: “Yeah.”

Steve interviews: “I was really excited when I saw that footage that Jason and Grant caught. Um – I haven’t seen anything like it before.” It’s – uh – it could be very big. It could end up – uh – changing a lot of people’s minds about the paranormal.”

TM:  It could also end up changing a lot of people’s minds about The Atlantic Paranormal Society’s collective brain power.

MB: Or not.

TM:  Or not.  Yeah, not.  Three years later they’re still trying to catch ghosts with the FLIR, and they’ve never felt the need to retract anything about this.

MB:  Mountebanks.

Jason, Cheshire-cat grinning: “That’s huge.”

Steve: “I can’t believe it.”

Jason: “Neither could I. Oh – I think I can keep on watching it over and over again, man.”

MB:  Now that I can see perfectly well what it is, watching it over and over again is as much fun as root canal.

TM: Ignorance is bliss.

There is much shaking of heads.

Jason interviews: “Me and Grant caught some – uh – evidence in the basement. Um – I really wanna analyze that and go through it and just try to pick it apart.”

Grant, in scene: “It’s weird whatever it is, man.”

The whole gang is now gathered around the computer at Command Central.

Dustin: “Yeah, it’s – uh – it looks like he’s holdin’ something.”

Grant: “It’s potentially a full body apparition which, you know, can – blows your mind instantly, but my natural instinct is to not trust what I see right off the bat. I wanna get to the bottom of it. I wanna analyze it and really try to figure out what it could be.”

TM  You know he wants to do that as much as he wants to wrestle rattlesnakes.

MB:  Grant Grant Grant.  GO WITH YOUR NATURAL INSTINCT.

TM: Not going to happen.  He didn’t want to be a computer guy, and he doesn’t want to be a plumber.

MB:  What’s wrong with being a plumber?

TM: No fan club.   No fan letters.  No deductible trips to Arkansas.  No deductible pie.  I wonder what they put on their income tax returns as their “profession.”

MB:  Charlatans. Does the government let you deduct pie?

Everyone trots downstairs to view the scene of the crime.

MORGUE

3:51 AM

Jason: “It was this room, right? The head was over here. The 2 was on its shoulder.”

Donna is looking at the locker.

Donna: “Yeah, that surface is really – I mean it’s all dulled down.”

Grant: “Look at this flashlight.”

Donna: “It’s not even shiny. It wouldn’t even reflect…”

Grant: “It’s no more reflective than the flippin’ wall.”

Steve: “I’m doubting that it’s any kind of reflection.”

Steve interviews: “Seeing the locker really helped me understand that what Jason and Grant caught wasn’t a reflection.”

Donna: “It’s clearly not a reflection.”

MB:  Jeez.  It’s almost  sad listening to them blither about it.

TM: Nuh-uh.   I love listening to scientific talk.

MB:  This is science the way a 6-year-old saying vroom-vroom in the car is driving.

Grant: “It’s all matte.”

Jason: “Well, you know, I – you know what I think is a big sell feature on it is that hat. And also you know it just – the way its clothes seemed…” He fumbles at the neck of his shirt.

Donna: “Yeah, like buttoned up?”

Jason: “Yeah.”

MB: Only, not buttoned up.  Because it’s not buttoned up just like… oh, forget it.  What’s the point?

TM:  They really want to believe.

MB:  WHICH IS EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT…

TM:  You have to let them go, Mme.  Off into the ether of their paranormal plumbing fantasy world.  Let them fly free, like seagulls.

MB:  Seagulls.  Right.

Donna: “That’s some pretty crazy crazy footage.”

Jason: “It’s awesome.”

Back at Command Central:

Grant: “You guys, you think with the bag, we got that and just a few other things…”

Jason: “We have 40, 50 hours of footage. Let’s wrap up. Let’s pack everything up.”

Steve: “We’re gonna put everything in my room for the night.”

The winding of the cords takes place.

Grant: “Ken, it’s 4:30 in the morning, man.”

Ken has emerged from somewhere.

Ken: “Yeah, I know. You guys get some rest.”

Jason: ‘Yeah, we’re gonna call it a night. I got the guys packin’ up right now.”

TM: If it’s 4:30 in the morning, maybe he doesn’t have to call it a night.

MB:  It can’t be 4:30 in the morning.

Ken: “Good. Don’t forget maybe if you have time to check out that – uh – house.”

Jason: “Yeah, you definitely can’t turn down one of the most haunted houses around, so…”

Grant nods: “He’s got a point.”

Jason: “And again, thank you for showin’ us all around. It was a pleasure.”

Ken interviews: “I was very impressed with the professionalism of TAPS and I hope – uh – that TAPS was able to get a lot of hard evidence.”

TM:  Hard evidence that they are boobs.  Yes.  That evidence is indubitable.

MB:  So now they are charlatans and boobs.

TM:  The two things are not mutually exclusive.

MB:  Hans Holzer is looking more and more statesman-like.

TM:  Eh – that’s kind of like Quayle vs. Palin.

THE ANALYSIS

CRESCENT HOTEL

MONDAY 11:15 AM

The three male minions are slumped over their equipment in a guest room where the bed remains unmade.

MB: Is Donna getting facials with the bosses at the New Moon Spa?

TM:  Is that a giant doughnut on the bed?

Dustin is in work mode with his cut-out backwards upside-down baseball cap on.

Dave: “Oh oh oh. Holy crap.”

Steve and Dustin’s heads swivel towards Dave’s corner.

Dave: “I thought I just saw something. Watch. Look on the right. There it is. There it is. What do you think? Is that an orb? What do you think that is?”

Dustin gives Steve a look.

Dave: “You see who – something’s walking back and forth and you just see – pwwt – it’s fast.”

Steve: “You bein’ serious right now?”

Dave: “Yeah, I’m bein’ serious. Look on the right. You see that?”

The editors have helpfully ovaled the dark spot on the right, where something dashes back and forth.

Dustin: “I see it, man, but it – it’s a bug.” He’s smiling.

Dave: “How are you – how are you sure it’s a bug? You just see somethin’ shoot across. I mean it’s…” He trails off.

Grant interviews: “Reviewing the evidence, sometimes the guys think they see an orb, but it’s really a bug. It’s really easy to tell when it’s a bug ‘cause it’s movin’ fast and it – it flutters. You can see the wings flap, and it’s – it’s always solid.”

Dustin: “You’ve got good eyes. I mean you’re lookin’ and you’re catchin’ things but that – I think it’s a bug.”

TM:  Poor Tango is in his early stages of lame newbie.  But soon he will redeem himself.

MB:  Now I’m starting to suspect they never thought he’d figure out that trick on the Queen Mary.

TM:  Yeah, and I’m not sure I was right to think he might have done it himself.

THE FINDINGS

CRESCENT HOTEL

TUESDAY 1:45 PM

Jason and Grant come to the peons’ work room.

Steve: “Hey, guys.”

Jason: “What’s goin’ on?”

Grant: “Let’s see what we got, man.”

Steve: “There’s only one piece to show you.”

Jason: “Which room is that? Okay, that’s…”

Grant: “Okay, that one’s my room.”

Jason: “419.”

The footage reveals it was filmed on June 10, 2005 at 1:05 AM. It shows Grant crossing the room with an “orb” behind him.

Jason: “There was a bug in that room that we had already seen prior.”

Grant: “Yeah, we did see a bug in there.”

Jason: “So this might be the bug.”

Steve: “Um – I can show you – I’m gonna have to show you the thermal that you guys – when you caught that in the basement. I have – I have that cued up.”

We are shown the Ghant again.

Jason: “Look at that. That – that’s a hat. You see that – the actual – this part of the hat.” He grabs the bill of Steve’s hat. To Grant: “Me and you need to go downstairs and try to recreate this. I just want to take away the possibility of that somehow being a reflection from you maybe catching it.”

Steve: “You know what? People are gonna pick this apart anyway, whoever sees it, so it’s better that you guys probably cover all angles.”

TM:  Yeah, so don’t say you weren’t warned!  Except you will never say anything, so… screw those pesky angles.

Jason: “All right. Then we’re gonna head down and we’re gonna test this out.”

Steve: “All right, guys.”

Jason interviews: “The more and more I see that footage of that man, the more and more I wanna disprove it. Me and Grant are actually gonna head down and try to recreate it and see what it could be before we go to the reveal.”

MB:  Pft.

TM:  Double pft.

MORGUE

2:20 PM

With the lights out downstairs [and upstairs], Jason and Grant fumble around trying to do a re-enactment of their encounter with the Ghant the night before.

Grant: “I was right here. Now we pan like we did.”

Jason, swinging the FLIR around: “Pan pan pan pan pan.”

Grant: “Panalana ding dong. Are we on the locker?”

Jason: “I’m on the locker.”

Grant: “Pan up and down.”

Jason interviews: “With the thermal imaging camera, heat can reflect off walls, glass, metal objects, pretty much anything.”

Grant, in scene: “Now, it doesn’t change a thing.”

Jason: “So what I’m wondering, Grant, is if that 2 is really – maybe it was just hot and was showin’ up on the screen hot. Put your hand on that 2 because I’m lookin’ right at it, man.”

Grant puts his hand on the locker over the 2.

Jason: “Yeah, all right, now take your hand off. I was dead on it.”

Grant’s handprint remains visible on the locker in several colors. A split screen shows us the 2 from the night before in comparison. The 2 there is right in front of the Ghant’s shoulder. Here it’s beneath a handprint. So, hunh. It looks different.

Jason: “Look – look at the 2. It’s still your handprint.”

And apples are still not oranges.

Grant: “That’s it.”

Jason: “Why wouldn’t the 2 be reflectin’ like it did that night?”

Grant: “I don’t know. I mean…”

Jason: “Step over one more foot.”

Jason interviews: “We put Grant in the same exact position, and me in the same exact position, and we couldn’t recreate anything. No heat at all was coming off of that locker.”

TM:  Humbug,

MB:  Bah.  Gah.

Grant, in scene: “Nothin’, nothin’ anywhere.”

Jason: “Then it doesn’t reflect.”

Grant: “Let’s go look in the mirror in the other room.”

Jason: “All right.”

Grant interviews: “We found a mirror down there and – uh – saw what a reflection should look like.”

Jason, in scene: “All right. I gotcha.”

Grant: “See?”

Jason: “You’re reflectin’ heat. I can see your arms and legs.”

Grant moves his arm: “Up, down, left, right.”

Amazingly, the thermal image does the exact same thing.

Jason: “Put your head down. Lower your head down. Look at that.”

Grant puts his face close to the mirror, sticks out his tongue, and says “ahhh.” Just before he does this, his forelock looks remarkably like – part of a hat! Or a headlamp attached to his forehead. Or almost anything but hair.

Jason: “I can see it all, Grant. All right, let’s… I don’t have an explanation for it. I’d love to.”

Grant: “We can’t pretend to have all the knowledge out there.”

TM:  Yes, you can.

MB:  They certainly pretend to have more than they do.

Jason: “All I know is I see a guy with a cap, a military guy, with a cap. That’s what it looks like to me.”

TM:  I think it looks like  giant weasel.

MB:  It looks just like Grant.

TM:  I already made that point.

Grant: “Let’s get out of here.”

Jason: “C’mon.”

Grant interviews: “If there’s an answer to it, I just don’t know it yet.”

THE REVEAL

CRESCENT HOTEL

WEDNESDAY 3:00 PM

Jack and Ken are sitting with Jason and Grant at a table outside on a terrace overlooking a lot of woods, aka the Ozarks.

Grant: “How you guys been over the past – uh – little while?”

Jack: “We’ve been anxious.”

Grant: “Yeah?”

Jason: “The way this group runs is when we go to a place we’re going there to try to dismiss claims of a haunting. It’s a lot easier for somebody to go into a place and say “Yep, it’s haunted” but where’s the evidence to support those claims? How do they prove that?”

TM:  Well, one way would be to do fake debunkings!

MB:  They sure aren’t trying very hard to dismiss claims here.

TM:  But we don’t know if that’s because they’re boobs, or because they’re charlatans!  It’s kind of great, if you think about it.

MB:  I just don’t have your appreciation for irony.

TM:  I know.

Jack: “We’ve had literally hundreds of reports, so we’re anxious to hear what you found.”

Grant: “After we had all the equipment set up, we let it run, and during that time we – uh – had investigators go around with equipment, also their own bodies, tryin’ to – you know – see what they feel.”

Jason: ‘One of our investigators Dustin went to go into room 419 which actually we had rented for the night and Grant had stayed in.”
Grant: “I gave the key to Dustin so he would go up and get something else and he couldn’t open the door. He had a hard time and he realized that if he just pushed hard enough, it would open, and sure enough, there was a com – a computer bag that had been blocking the door.”

Jason: “So the computer bag had been moved from the t.v. stand to the door and nobody was in the room.”

Grant: “The problem is we didn’t capture it on tape. While it’s an impressive experience, it’s just another story that you’re adding to your – list of stories.”

Jack is nodding through all of this.

Jack: “”Sure.”

Jason: “Me and Grant started doing a walk-through with the thermal imaging camera. We went downstairs to the morgue, we headed to the back room. Upon going in that room is where we caught some footage we’d really like to show you.”

Grant: “It’s going to be on the left-hand side of the screen.”

And once more, the Grost makes an appearance. Ken’s expression doesn’t change. Jack shakes his head.

Jack: “That’s amazing. It’s clearly a person.”

Ken: “It looks like to me that brim…”

Jack: “It looks like the hat of a – of a stone mason.”

Ken: “Yes.”

Grant: “No one down there had a hat on.”

Jason: “We tried to recreate that with Grant standing there and with me standing there.”

Grant: “The end result is that we tried to recreate it twice, and we couldn’t get so much as a reflection off the locker. We couldn’t get it to reflect us. We are true to our evidence. We’re tryin’ to find real real answers and – uh – if we lie to ourselves and everyone just to make ourselves feel like we caught something then there’d be no progress. We don’t do that.”

Ken nods.

Jason: “So you do seem to have some kind of activity goin’ on here.”

Jack: We’ve had so many reports, we were pretty sure we had something going on, so we’re glad that you’ve come in and shown us that is the case.”

Jason: “Yeah, some people that don’t show up to the human eye may show up to other instruments. We really want to thank you guys for havin’ us out here.”

Jack: “Well, thank you.”

Jason: “You made this a wonderful trip.”

Hand shakes all around.

Jack interviews: “I found the image that TAPS showed us amazing. It really was chilling. I mean we’ve had many incidents and reports down in that area and we’re very satisfied with TAPS and what they’ve – what they have proven for us and – uh – obviously they have shown their expertise.”

Jason interviews: “The image me and Grant caught in the morgue was really strange.” The Ghant is shown again. You know the people at the Crescent Hotel said that it looks like a Civil War soldier. Maybe it is. As far as I’m concerned, we captured an apparition.”

Jason lifts innocent eyebrows, and then the ghant is shown again.

MB:  Cripes, but this is depressing.  Have they no shame whatsoever?

TM:  Not so much, apparently.  Because you know, while they may have been overly excited at the moment, it’s not like they didn’t have time to think about it afterwards.  Being producers and all, and – uh – also very scientifical?  To be fair, they may have gotten all crazy,  and were just incapable of being anything but idiots at first.  But to have never admitted in all the time since – months, years! – that  they were mistaken and carried away by the moment, in light of irrefutable arguments, that makes them – good businessmen.

MB:  Well, then – I’m an idiot. But we already knew that, didn’t we?

TM: Don’t feel too bad, Mme.  Even Logisti is getting testy about FLIR images over on the Skeptical Viewer, and he and his colleague Stephen are like saints when it comes to giving TAPS the benefit of the doubt.

MB:  You are never to buy me Ghost Hunters DVD’s new again.  Do you hear me?  I appreciated it, but  never again.  Might as well buy shares in the Brooklyn Bridge.

TM:  Or contribute to the McCain campaign.

MB:  Or buy  dog boots.

TM:  Or cat hats.  I get it.  Believe me, I won’t.  But in the next part, something strange really does happen, so don’t get all completely disillusioned yet.  Sometimes TAPS comes up with something in spite of themselves.

MB:  A plague on all their houses.  We can do that part later.

TM:  Happy Halloween, Mme.

MB:  Whatever.  You, too.

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4 Responses to “Holy Grail, Holy Crap”

  1. Deborah Says:

    The most disappointing thing in the hotel part of this episode WAS the lack of real history. A little more history in almost all cases would go a long way to making more sense of the plumbers’ continuing adventures. (This was actually one plus in the recent Ghost Hunters Halloween Special, which seemed to last an entire weekend – I know you don’t get it, but they really actually did delve into the history of Fort Delaware in a little depth, and it helped.) I am with you on the deep doubts about thermal imaging cameras in general – I am a little shaky on the whole ghosts as energy theory anyway – but I look forward to what you will say about the next part of the episode. I really like that medium. I refuse to believe that he doesn’t believe he’s talking to the spirits, and for once, that thermal imaging camera made some sense.

    I was recently watching an old episode (and I wish I’d noted which one) where a “female” ghost coughed. If being a ghost had any advantages at all, one of them ought to be freedom from sinus conditions. I am as puzzled by ghosts coughing as by ghosts breathing. I am equally puzzled as to the sincerity of Grant and Jason. But I feel very sad at the idea of them being mountebanks.

  2. thetalkingmongoose Says:

    I knew we were forgetting something. I liked that medium, too. It gets harder and harder to round up Mme. B. in front of the t.v. for a Ghost Hunters session. We are both severely disaffected by all the chicanery.

    *I* feel very sad that tarring and feathering is no longer an option.

    Mme. B. swears she once tape-recorded a ghost sneezing. I, too, find spectral sinus conditions highly suspect, but I’ve heard the recording and I believe Mme. B., so I guess I have to allow for the possibility. It does make you wonder, though.

  3. Bill Says:

    I just have to say, it’s sad I found this so late, I haven’t have such a good chuckle in quite a while. I’m going to post a link on my blog to this for the sheer entertainment value, I don’t know if you had realized this, in case you quit posting, (I am tired for the night and can’t continue), but it has been found out that Jason and Grant aren’t even plumbers, I don’t know if this is in a previous post, I started with the “fake door chicanery” in Louisiana episode. Evidently, someone took the time to check with the Rhode Island Bureau of Licensing and couldn’t find Grant, but did find that Jason had an old one year apprenticing license, more snooping was done and Roto-Rooter had to admit to RI authorities that Jay & Grant aren’t Roto-Rooter plumbers, after all, who would want to hop in a hot-tub or take a hot shower put in by someone who doesn’t even have a license to do so? Can you say “Death by Electrocution for 200, Alex?” Even scarier if they are working with natural gas and electricity! More so than than the FLIR “boogeyman” they caught recently at the Samuel Mudd House, and as you say, I cannot believe they are still pushing that…dang thing can only see solid objects, which I think I heard them mention once or twice over the years.
    I also have to mention the use of the emf detector…hardly anyone has put together the emf detector vs the MRI machine, KII meter reads in milligauss, MRI uses in the thousands…but no mention of any of the high emf sensitivity symptoms in the paperwork, or from the tech I asked, this would be the ultimate fear cage, and spending over 30 minutes in an electromagnetic field of thousands of gauss, strong enough to see my muscles and tendons in high detail, and I felt nothing. No itching, fear of dread, feeling of someone touching me or watching me, hallucinations, etc. However, there are people who do hallucinate in MRI machines, those with tumors on the brain or serious skull fractures and concussions. Also, those with claustrophobia can get a bit upset, but that’s because of the confined space obviously. Possible irritation at tattoo sites where old red ink with lots of ferrous oxide was used, but even that I believe was found at most “plausible” on Mythbusters. That was mentioned on the form, I do have a tattoo, but again, nothing. I see logical, but slightly twisted minds at work here, and I love it! Mme B. and TalkingMongoose, it has been fun, and I hope to have more laughs tomorrow when I look for more follow-ups.
    But I, like you, after a hopeful start to Ghost Hunters, am very disillusioned with them. They are as you say, Charlatans, I shouldn’t even dignify that with a capital C. Keep on Keepin’ On!

  4. thetalkingmongoose Says:

    I showed your kind note to Mme. Blahblatsky and reminded her we have yet to finish this episode. She grunted. I do not know if that is an affirmative or negative reply. In past conversations she has indicated an extreme reluctance to pay any more attention to these “big old fabulists” but perhaps the approach of Halloween will jolly her up. We never got to make fun of the KII ouija meters, after all. I haven’t yet told her about the plumber thing. I’m a little afraid.

    Fascinating observation about the MRI emf field! I once had an MRI and I was sure aliens were trying to send me a message through those loud bonking noises, but that was just wishful thinking.

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