I’m giving Mme. Blahblatsky some time to get over her bad moodiness re The Myrtles. This is a recarp of the second episode of the second season of the reconstituted reality show “Ghost Hunters.”
Disclaimer: Pilgrim Films and Television created this mess, and quoted dialogue is theirs, in perpetuity. They are damned to the circle of hell reserved for really bad television producers.
Narrator: “On this episode of Ghost Hunters, TAPS searches for a spirit that terrorizes children, and a bone-chilling discovery is made. Are they human? And Brian and Steve are in hot pursuit. Then, Jason and Grant investigate a house with multiple hauntings. When the ghost hunters get close, a TAPS member gets attacked.”
That narrator sounds positively gleeful about that last bit.
The Credits are changed again. This week, the featured bit players are Andy Investigator, and Paula Research & Development. Jen and Kristyn can just suck it.
Warwick, Rhode Island winter – snow plow, snow banks. The three-foot high ones are back in front of TAPS headquarters.
Donna, Jason and Grant are in the conference room, where not one but two giant pictures of Race Rock Lighthouse remind us of the glory days of last summer.
Donna is presenting the next case, a house in Grafton, Massachusetts. A couple with children and a sister live there. “The children are being woken up in the middle of the night by things tugging on their bed sheets, the toys flying around the room.”
Yeah, you can just forget the toys jet-propelling through space right now.
The children are five and seven, and that gets paternal Jason all worked up.
Jason: “There’s definitely cases that – uh – take precedence over others. If a child’s involved, the case goes to the front of the list. You know, being a father, you know, having five kids myself, the least that you’d ever want to see is your child in jeopardy, psychologically or physically.”
Jason had three kids at the start of the first season. He’s either adopted two more, or some baby mama has tracked him down. Unless he was just being forgetful.
TAPS has really come up in the world since the move from the trailer. They have a basement! And Jason is referring to them in the third person!
Jason: “TAPS has moved ahead in their technology department. We have a tech center actually downstairs. We got Ron Milione who’s heading that up. He’s an inventor, and he’s been building equipment suited to our needs. We actually had him design a couple new EMF meters.”
Brian and Andy descend upon Ron Milione Research & Development in his basement lair. Andy is wearing glasses and a checked golf cap, and is looking oddly like he walked out of a P.G. Wodehouse story.
Ron is showing off the new EMF detectors he has concocted specially for TAPS. “Take one. Let’s put the monitor on. Now watch.”
Brian, Andy and a strange guy obediently hold their gauges next to the monitor. Well, I don’t know, but it looks like the “invention” is adding a bunch of little lights to the gauge, so that instead of just reading out a boring old number, you get to see flashing green and red lights. Which is neato, but doesn’t seem particularly helpful. Except like, in zero lux. But what do I know? So never mind.
Brian: “Ron, you’re amazing, dude.”
Brian and Ron high-five.
THE BRIEFING
GRAFTON HOUSE
Friday 6:16 PM
The TAPS group assembles in the office for instructions. Oh, yay – a demonologist twin is there, but I don’t know which one. Brian, Donna, Andy and – hey, there’s Heather pagan/wiccan, too – are joined by the new guy.
It’s Dustin Pari Tech Trainee. Trainees and pagans don’t get to be in the credits.
Dustin: “My name’s Dustin Pari. I work as a cardiac EMT, anesthesia technician for oral and facial cosmetic surgery, and I also manage a ambulance company. I have a strong technical background which is what I bring to TAPS. I’m really excited to get started with these guys and – uh – try to show ‘em what I can do.
Dustin must be a busy boy.
Jeezum crow. I said that before I googled him. He has been a busy boy. He once won a competitive doughnut-eating contest! He slept at red lights while delivering pizzas! He met Greg Brady! I’m afraid Dustin Pari is going to be the most exciting thing in this episode! I wonder how many doughnuts it takes to win a doughnut-eating contest in Rhode Island.
Grant: “So we got a kickin’ case tonight. The problem with this case is you got these two kids that right now they’re seeing a child – spirit of a child coming in and waking them up in their – while they’re sleeping so this causes the children to obviously not get enough sleep and it’s starting to affect their personality so that’s why it’s been rushed to an emergency situation. Okay, so we got Brian and Dustin – you guys are going to be working together. Um – we got a lot of new equipment. We need both of you on your toes.”
Brian: “Not a problem.”
Grant: “Heather and Donna, taking care of the interviews, and the rest of us will debunk and investigate.”
The group cheers and claps. There’s nothing better than an evening of debunking and investigating kids and cow bones.
Jason: “Awesome.”
Mme B. will want it noted “Me” is wearing a red sweater again.
Rhode Island and Massachusetts highways fly by in the night. In the big boss vehicle, they haul out the Brian drama for verbal snacks on the trip north.
Grant: “So it’ll be fun to see how Brian trainin’ Dustin turns out.”
Jason: “You know Brian’s been tryin’ a lot harder, but the thing is that’s how it always goes. He gets in trouble, he tries harder, and, a month or two later, he totally screws up again.”
Grant: We’ll just have to keep a close eye on him.”
Jason, unenthusiastic: “Yeah.”
The vans arrive somewhere in the dark where there are more big snow banks and the thermometer registers 32 degrees. Heat wave.
Grant knocks on a door and introduces himself. “Hi. Grant from TAPS. We’re here to help.”
Angela Scovil Resident tells us why these people are so desperate for a) help, b) fame, or c) the scorn of scores of people they’ve never met, or d) all of the preceding, as to let The Atlantic Paranormal Society and its film crew into their house.
Angela: “We called TAPS because the kids were having problems being woken up in the middle of the night. Whether they were waking themselves up or by the spirits – that’s what we wanted to find out.” Angela is also wearing a red sweater. But after she sees Jason’s, she changes into royal blue.
THE INVESTIGATION
GRAFTON HOUSE
Friday 7:45 PM
Angela and Tricia Bentley Resident take Jason and Brian upstairs to the third floor. Jason asks when the house was built, and is told 1703-1710. It doesn’t look that old, but whatever, it’s got a lot of years on it. It’s a big house, like an inn.
Tricia tells them that someone committed suicide in the attic back when rafters were still exposed. Now it’s a bedroom.
Tricia: “A gentleman hung himself over the stairway – um – and you’ll hear him stomping up the stairs. The best way to hear explain it – like the weight of the world coming up the stair to commit suicide. Um – my door’s locked. You’ll hear him rattle the handle trying to get in.”
The door, smack at the bottom of the stairs, has an old thumb latch.
Grant asks if they’ve seen anything, or is the activity just sounds.
Tricia: “I have seen him just at the top of the stairs and in the window. Um – if you pull into the driveway, a lot of times we’ve looked up and you can see him standing in the window.”
KIDS’ BEDROOM GRAFTON HOUSE
The two children share a room with bunk beds in it. The five-year-old girl, Desiree, is interrogated by Jason after he smarmily tells her she has a pretty room.
Jason: “Desiree, who tries to wake you up?”
Desiree: “Um – the ghost. In – I mean the little girl.” She’s abashed at having said the forbidden word in front of Jason. She’s totally coached.
Jason: “What happens when they wake you up?”
Leading the witness, your honor!
Desiree: “They always try to play with me.”
Seven-year-old Cody interrupts. “I don’t want to play ghost.”
Attaboy, Cody.
Jason: “They play with you?”
Grant: “Does it bother you?”
Desiree nods.
Grant: “Yeah?”
Angela: “We’ve had to actually wake her completely up some nights ‘cause she’d say ‘Cody shut up, Cody be quiet, Cody I am trying to sleep.’ We had to wake her up, pick her out of bed and show her that he is indeed out cold, snoring, and it’s not him.”
Way to soothe a five-year-old, mom. Or aunt. The relationships are not made clear. Maybe it’s a Big Love House. Whatever, this all sounds pretty lame. Although that may be the editors’ fault. We can never tell.
It’s time for Jason to crack the whip over the TAPS troops. Steve has shown up. Everything has to be done ASAP. Get those cameras set up on the third floor and in the kids’ room.
GRAFTON BARN 9:05 PM
Someone is claiming that research into the history of the house indicated there may be a casket in a brick vault in – uh, the barn? Which is probably connected to the Underground Railroad.
Rick Baker Resident appears wielding a power saw. The TAPS visit has inspired the residents so much that they are willing to saw holes in the place. This is getting weird. Weird peculiar, not weird scary.
Rick: “I’ll open this up for you right now but there’s one thing I gotta say. Nobody’s been down here probably in over a hundred years. I wanna go first.”
Jason: “It’s your house.”
He might have also added “You’re holding the power saw.”
Rick proceeds to cut into the wooden floorboards with reckless disregard for historic fabric. We want that casket.
Meanwhile, Brian and Dustin are chilling on the porch.
Dustin: I really appreciate it, man. Taking me under your wing and showing me all this stuff.”
Brian: “Don’t worry about it, dude.”
Dustin: “I just don’t want to screw up, you know?”
Brian: “You’re not going to screw up, man. You – you might screw up a little bit but that’s just the way it is. That’s – uh – I screw up still.”
Dustin: “You do?”
Brian: “Yeah.”
Dustin: “I don’t believe it.”
Brian: “I’m only human, man.”
Dustin: “Oh, man, it is freezin’ out here.”
Dude! It’s only technically freezing.
I hope Dustin wasn’t being sarcastic here, because I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Brian now that the editors are ganging up on him in alliance with “me and Grant.”
Rick Baker has managed to cut a very neat rectangle in the floor, through which he wriggles, followed by Grant. But the enterprising camera crew is already down there, ready to film Grant in night-vision. There’s a lot of debris, and cobwebs.
Rick: “I found a newspapah!”
It’s a Chicago paper from May 18, 1902. Cuba was two days away from gaining its independence from the U.S., and it was three days after someone in California became the first person in the world to fly in a powered airplane. So it’s a pretty old paper. Someone says “Holy Cow!”
Grant is digging away at the dirt floor. He says he feels like he’s exhuming someone, which I think was the original point, wasn’t it?
Someone asks “Is that a bone?” No, worse. It looks like a shoe, attached to something.
THE INVESTIGATION
GRAFTON HOUSE
Friday 10:15 PM
It’s a boot. Thank god. Just a boot. But then more clothing is found. Seriously – double ick. Can we go now? There’s much excitement. They’ve found a bone! They think it’s “a vertebrae.”
It’s a big bone.
Grant interviews: “I never expected to find anything that least looked human remains. That’s important in a situation like this because one of the many theories out there is that if the body’s not at rest then the spirit’s not at rest.”
The twin demonologist on the case turns out to be Carl. Unless it’s Keith playing a joke on everybody. He is representing the TAPS forensic anthropology department tonight.
Carl: “I can’t tell for sure but it’s the right size for human vertebrae. It’s big enough.”
Big enough? It’s huge!
Grant: “It’s – it’s kinda eerie.”
I don’t think these people have dogs.
Jason: “All right, Grant. You got the gloves on.”
Grant does have gloves on, and is wielding a zip-loc bag.
Grant: “There’s definitely some feeling about this that doesn’t seem right to move the bones and everything, but I think it’s necessary for us to take them to find out what they really are. If they do turn out to be human bones, then – um – it’s our responsibility to contact the police. Maybe we can identify it as actually one of the people who lived in the home.”
Now that they’re done digging up bones (no casket – told you so), it’s time to get on with the real investigation. The house is going dark, and Brian is taking Dustin on his first tour of duty.
Brian: “Just to let you know, I don’t go by the book.”
Dustin: “Somehow, I figured that.”
And that’s why Brian’s days at TAPS are numbered! So watch it, Dustin.
THIRD FLOOR 11:05 PM
Brian is asking for the man who walks up and down the stairs to favor him with a recording. Grant in interview explains electronic voice phenomena for the umpteenth time.
Dustin: “Do you want to tell us why you hung yourself?”
A cat looks at him scornfully.
Out in the
TAPS Mobile Command Center 11:18 PM
Grant is manning the computers, listening to something. Jason sneaks up on him from wherever he’s been skulking around, and want to badmouth Brian some more. Grant tells him Dustin is doing well, and Brian seems to be “on his best behavior tonight.”
Jason doesn’t like to hear this. He rolls his eyes.
Jason: “Well, we’ve seen that before.”
Grant: “Yeah, we’ll take our time with it.”
THIRD FLOOR 11:56 PM
Brian is still harassing the ghost. “If you’re the one that rattled the door handle, why don’t you do that now?”
Another disgusted cat pads down the flight of stairs and tries to leave by scratching at the door. Seeing this, Dustin has the brilliant idea that they may have found the source of the door latch rattling. Or maybe not, because the latch isn’t rattling.
KIDS’ BEDROOM 3 HRS. INTO INVESTIGATION
The kids are asleep in their bunk beds. Steve is whispering stupid questions to the ghosts.
Elsewhere, pagan/wiccan Heather has got her dowsing rods out and Andy is trailing her taking EMF readings. Heather has changed her story since the last time she told us about dowsing rods. Now she says that when the dowsing rods cross, you’ve located natural energy, not supernatural energy.
Heather: “In theory, that’ what a ghost is – energy that hasn’t dispersed yet.
Heather is also wearing a red sweater. Maybe there is only one, and they pass it around.
Heather and Andy mount the stairs to the third floor where the suicide hangs out.
Heather: “The air does feel a little different.”
THIRD FLOOR 12:59 AM
Heather gets a hit as she climbs.
Heather: “Oop. They’re crossin’ already.”
Andy: “I’m getting’ a spike.”
Heather: “Woop. They’re crossin’ more. Andy, you’re not watching.”
Andy: “I’m not feeling good. I’m definitely gettin’ tight in the chest right now.” He sits down on the stairs and exhales loudly. “I – I’m not feeling good.”
Heather: “Do you wanna go back down to the second floor, just until you feel better?”
Andy: “Yeah, I do.” He woofs again, and retreats to the second floor.. “Oh, man. That – stairway. I was like – arrrr.”
Steve: “Were – are you okay?”
Andy: “No. I’m gonna go get some fresh air, okay?” He’s still exhaling loudly, his arms clasped over and behind his head.
Outside, he explains his abandonment of his post to me and Grant. “At the moment I started walking up those stairs, it just got heavier and heavier and heavier pressure on my chest.”
Jason has his skeptical face on, which isn’t all that different from his regular face.
Grant looks concerned, and pats Andy’s shoulder. “How you doin’, man? You all right?”
Andy: “It’s tight. It’s – my chest is still tight.” He makes a face of discomfort.
Grant: “I’d love to go up there and check it out. What the heck – why not?”
Jason: “Eh. Grab the EMF. Me and you will go for a walk.”
They go up to the door at the bottom of the flight of stairs into the attic room.
Grant: “Ready?”
Jason: “Ready for St. Nick to come out from upstairs?” I don’t think he means Santa Claus.
Grant: “Oh, crap. I’m not ready for this.”
Jason: “I’ll take him first.”
Grant: “Something about a breeze, right?”
Jason: “All I know is, to be honest with you…” He grabs his neck with his arm and jerks himself through the doorway. Jerk being the operative word.
THE INVESTIGATION
GRAFTON HOUSE
Saturday 1:25 AM
Grant is chortling.
Jason: “Let’s go upstairs and check out where Andy had this so-called incident.”
Mr. Debunker is about to be debunked, I guess. How fickle is Fortune.
THIRD FLOOR 5 HRS INTO INVESTIGATION
Jason climbs the stairs with Grant taking EMF readings behind him. If that new gauge with the antenna is more sensitive to assholes, Grant’s going to be having an epileptic fit from all the blinking lights.
But hark – he actually is getting a stronger reading on the stairs. It’s gone up to a 3.
Jason waffles, not liking that: “All right. Well. It’s a constant reading, Grant.”
But no, it isn’t. It goes up to a 4. Nyah-nyah, Snidely Whiplash. But Jason doesn’t care.
Jason: “Anyways, I honestly don’t feel anything up here.” He loves to use the word honestly, and does so often, especially when he is making pronouncements about how right he is. Being “honest” allows him to indulge his poophead tendencies without shame.
Andy has crawled up to the doorway at the bottom of the stairs, and stammers miserably. “I – I – I don’t know – I don’t know what to say. I – I really don’t know what to say.” He’s like a kicked puppy. “As you take a breath and let it out, it gets that much tighter.”
Donna has shown up from wherever she was playing poker with the production crew, and is looking at him with concern.
Jason picks his way down the stairs disdainfully and passes Andy without looking at him. “Excuse me.”
Andy sighs.
Grant: “Don’t pass out on us.” He pats Andy on the chest as he leaves.
Andy rubs the side of his head. “All right. I’m done.” He turns and is followed out by Donna.
Mme. B. may find the plethora of inane conversations enough, but for me, if it weren’t for these miniature Greek tragedies spicing up the general tedium, “Ghost Hunters” would be totally unwatchable.
Heather interviews: “Andy gets – over-zealous and I don’t know if he works himself up to the point that he actually felt sick.” Bithc.
Steve: “I don’t know Andy to be a liar so if he says it happened to him, I’m pretty sure it did.” At least somebody knows how not to be a fair-weather friend.
Grant feels it necessary to make the lugubrious Andy feel even worse.
Grant: “One thing, Andy, that I want to bring up though is – when we do experience something in the house we want to make sure that it’s a quiet conversation between J. and I, or Donna because right after that was brought up the homeowner came up and was concerned – ‘what’s going on?’ – ‘he’s - is he – he had a paranormal experience’ dah dah dah. We want to keep that on the down low which – you know, but I mean – if it’s overwhelming you gotta – you gotta do somethin’ about ‘em. We understand that. You know what I’m sayin’?”
Only partially. But Andy seems to, and nods. He is looking rather ill, and rubbing the bridge of his nose, glasses removed. I think new Case Manager Donna now shares the responsibility for preventing hysteria in the troops, but given her heebie-jeebies in the Armory, I have my doubts about she’ll do much better than the old Case Manager. Which, if you don’t remember, was Brian, of the Great Run.
BASEMENT 1:46 AM
The night-vision camera shows us lots of cobwebs.
Steve is still whispering, although there’s not really any danger of waking people up. Then Brian thinks he hears something. Then Steve does, too. We, of course, hear not a damn thing, other than Brian and Steve discussing their discovery. They don’t even tell us what it sounds like. They’re whirling their flashlights around and getting all excited and we’re standing there like idiots going “What? What?”
Brian: “That was a big cold spot. What do you got for temperature?”
Steve: “35. 38.”
Ooh. Chilly. I’d be worrying about the pipes if I were the Scovil-Bentley-Bakers.
Brian: “Right here right here right here.”
Steve: “48. 45.”
Brian: “Right here! I just got a cold feeling on my back.”
Steve, bug-eyed, looks at Brian. Why are they both wearing short-sleeved shirts in the middle of winter?
Grant interviews: “Spirits when they manifest they need energy and usually when they gather that energy, it leaves a cold spot.”
Steve: “I was getting steady 30’s for a while. Now we’re back up into the 40’s. It’s just weird it all happened at the same time. Got that noise, got the EMF spikes, and we were feeling a cold spot. You know one in itself isn’t enough but all three combined, I don’t know.”
TAPS MOBILE COMMAND UNIT 7 HRS INTO INVESTIGATION
Jason tells Grant that he’s had enough. They’ve got 30-plus hours of video, ditto audio, and that’s plenty.
Brian, Dustin and Steve pack up all electrical cords and sundry equipment. Steve itemizes as he goes – “transmitter, antenner…”
The Grafton house adult contingent has grown to four when they bid adieu. Now there’s an older woman, unintroduced.
Jason thanks them, and tells them there’s a lot of footage “our guys” are going to go over “at the shop.” That’s new this season. But announcing that you have peasants to work the fields must be much more satisfying than pretending you dug the potatoes by yourself.
Grant, looking a little blank: “And we’ll come back and tell you – you know – what we found and didn’t find…”
I think he’s expecting more of the latter.
Tricia’s parting words: “I do hope that there is some explanations for what’s gone on with our children and us in general.”
Don’t hold your breath, Tricia. Did you not watch the first season?
Jason and Grant sum up the evening on the way home.
Grant: “So that is an interesting place.”
Jason: “The sisters truly believe that they’ve experienced something in that house. I’m just not sure if the kids – you know – actually have or if they’re going on what they’ve heard.”
Grant: “Exactly. It’s hard to say. Then you go and find bones under the floor. What the frig’s up with that?”
Oh, no you don’t! Stop trying to make us forget that it was bones under the barn floor. Hardly the same. Especially since they looked like cow bones.
Jason: “It definitely has the potential to be haunted.”
Grant: “I know. It’s been everything under the sun.”
Well, here they’ve lost me. We’ve missed out on pages and pages of back story evidently. For all we know, the house was a brothel during the Great Flu Pandemic and a boarding house for traveling circuses.
Jason snots: “I can’t base an investigation on an emotion or a feeling.”
Grant: “No.”
But they can base their television program on a bunch of nothing and that’s just fine. Pft.
THE ANALYSIS
GRAFTON HOUSE
Monday 10:15 AM
Brian and Steve are reviewing evidence at the “shop.” Doesn’t anybody have a job anymore? Are they working for Pilgrim–supplied Cheetos?
Brian: “Whatchoo got?”
Steve: “Here’s where that – uh – that kid waked up for no reason.”
We see Cody sitting up on the top bunk in the kids’ room.
Brian: “Yeah, you know like the mother said the kids usually get woken up by some child – you know – some child entity. What was that, dude? Oh, go back, go back. What is that? (pointing) This could be the child entity for the sister.”
Brian looks all serious. Steve nods solemnly. End of scene.
Okay, I have to spoiler it here, because this isn’t lame. This is beyond lame. This is legless. Not only is NOTHING happening here, they have RE-ENACTED NOTHING HAPPENING to make us think something is so that we won’t switch channels. Except I can’t switch channels. I promised Mme. B. I would do this episode and I must keep watching the bloody thing. Brian and Steve have found that the kid Cody is getting up and poking his sister while she sleeps. Then they set up this scene of the discovery of nothing. Looking into this abyss of Moronia is making me dizzy.
THE FINDINGS
GRAFTON HOUSE
Monday 7:45 PM
New case Manager Donna now gets to sit in on the guys’ secret meetings. Congratulations, Donna!
Steve shows the camera footage of the third floor room “where Andy had his spell” on the stairs.
Steve: “This is the one where he showed the most physical reaction.”
Andy is sitting on the stairs looking sickly.
Grant: “See right about there everything was going nuts on our instruments.”
Steve: “But that’s all we had.” Looks like Steve-o is now running with the pack.
Jason: “Andy’s experience upstairs could have been physical, it could have been emotional, it could have been paranormal.” That’s what he says, but we know what he’s thinking.
Steve shows the footage of the kids’ room. “Here you’ll see the one boy wake up. Yeah, he just kind of gets up, wanders around, and he ends up finding his way back into bed. And that’s it. That episode’s over.”
Grant: “Eventually he just closes his eyes.”
Yeah, well, after he whacked the five-year-old in her sleep but we’re still pretending we didn’t see that because we’re whipping up this wonderful audience surprise for the “reveal.” And speaking of surprises…
Jason: “What’d we find out on those bones?”
Steve: “They’re – the bones right now are in the hands of an anthropologist who’s going to look at ‘em closer and give us a definite human or not human.”
Everybody is enthused about this.
Jason: “That’d be wild.”
Grant: “Way cool! Can’t wait to find that out!”
Donna is excited. “Wow – that’s a whole other investigation.”
Grant: “Thanks, guys.”
Jason: “Good job.”
THE REVEAL
GRAFTON HOUSE
Five Days Later
I think the title people must have gotten tired of keeping track of the mythical timeline. For the record, the investigation took place on Saturday, January 29, 2005, so theoretically, it’s now – uh – oh, I don’t care.
Rick, Tricia and Angela are getting the news. Rick is in short sleeves. The winter heating bill for that house must be phenomenal.
Grant: “The main reason we came here was to try to figure out if thee was paranormal experience involved with the children not getting any sleep. So – uh – we’re going to show you some of the footage. This is obviously the children’s room. You can see here this is an EMF detector. The whole time through the night that didn’t change at all. You know – it just means there was no – uh – an unanomalous electrical activity in the room.”
Rick: “Okay.”
What? I swear that’s what he said. Unanomalous activity. That happens a lot.
Grant: “You’ll see Cody wake up here. Eventually he does make his way out of the bed. He just kinda wanders around a little bit. Right here he goes and starts poking Desiree, and you’ll see after he does that eventually he finds his way back in bed and falls asleep. And I’d say about fifteen minutes later she wakes up, seems obviously distressed, and then mom comes in and saves the day.”
Jason: “This just pretty much describes what happened that night that we were here.”
Grant: “If she’s just coming out of sleep, something’s rousing her and then he goes back to bed, she wakes up and there’s no one there, it can freak you out. That would freak me out.”
Angela shrugs and nods.
Grant: “So – what we would recommend if you have a camera and you feel comfortable what you can do is you can kinda have some fun with it ( he gestures at Jason) and become like a little – a little (he’s doing a lot of gesturing with his hands – could he be maybe feeling like – I don’t know – a fool?) annex of TAPS and do your own investigation.”
Sweet jesus, they’re back to their poorly disguised attempts to take over the world. It won’t work! Grant is a lousy cult leader.
Jason: “And if you set up the camera and just let it run through the night you never know what you might catch.”
Whee! But Angela and Tricia don’t look very excited about this.
Jason: “If you find something feel more than willing (his phone rings, or his substandard English alarm goes off) to send it to us and – uh…” He looks at the phone. To Grant: “It’s the guy about the bones.” How timely!
Jason on phone: “Hello. Are you serious? Are you sure? Wow.”
And then there used to be a commercial here because surely Jason is getting the stunning news that the bones are of a murdered bride or ancient Indian.
THE REVEAL
GRAFTON HOUSE
Saturday 5:35 PM
Jason, still on phone: “Thank you very much for your time.”
Grant: “It’s the bone guy?”
Jason: “Yeah. We’d been actually waiting for the call back. Uh – the analysis on the bones pretty much they are animal bones. Yeah. Pig and cow.”
Pig! There was pig with that cow! Oh my god!!!
Rick at least is happy to find this out. “Well, that’s good to know then. You know – someone’s bones…”
Yeah, not a property plus.
Jason: “we do believe what you guys have state that go on in the house. It’s just we were unfortunate enough not to catch anything.”
Thanksyouguyshavebeenwonderfulweappreciateitwegottagonowotherfishtofry.
Rick’s last words: “Basically I’m pretty satisfied you know – uh- hopin’ there was more but you know, I’m satisfied with the whole result.”
The women are somewhat less sanguine.
Tricia: “I was a little upset – um – that nothing was caught.”
Angela: “Well, the experiences we had – I know we had them. I mean…”
Tricia: “When I saw Cody get out of bed and mess with Desiree a little bit I was surprised but not really surprised – um – ‘cause kids do that.”
Angela: “I have to say they were real and to know that they weren’t able to catch any of that (she grimaces) – it’s upsetting.”
But the van carries its oblivious occupants into the night.
Grant: “That didn’t go too bad!” I think if anything it’s more nonparanormal what’s keeping those kids up at night than something paranormal. But you know they had a lot of believable stories which you can’t really throw out. They gotta stand for somethin’ but…” He trails off, contemplating nonparanormal unanomalies.
Jason: “I just look at it as stories are stories until I have evidence.”
Yeah, and I look at it as stories aren’t stories unless there are stories involved. I need a break before I tackle the next horror.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Tags: Andy Andrews, bones, dowsing rods, Dustin Pari, ghost hunters, ghosts, Grafton Massachusetts, Grant Wilson, Jason Hawes, TAPS, The Atlantic Paranormal Society
