The New Bedford Armory

[Mme. Blahblatsky was typing this up and made a typo. We’re doing a recarp! Neologism – first! TM]

Mme. Blahblatsky and the Talking Mongoose, returned, recap and carp about the seventh episode of the first season of the alternate reality show Ghost Hunters.

Disclaimer: All of the quoted material belongs to Pilgrim Films and Television, Inc., including the rare captioned material from that poor employee who got knocked flat.

Things must have been at a fever-pitch in production this week, and someone got sloppy. The Narrator is verging on slander.

“On this episode of Ghost Hunters, Jason and Grant investigate a turn-of-the-century armory with a haunted history. Does the sergeant’s tormented spirit lurk in the shadows? What makes these soldiers quake in their boots? This time, things get physical.”

A body is lying on the floor, and Brian is saying “Something threw him down, dude.”

Credits – it’s the old version, sans Andy Andrews.

TM: Good!

MB: I thought you liked Andy.

TM: He cramps Brian’s style. I like Brain in full flow, unhindered.

THE BRIEFING

TAPS Headquarters

Saturday 2:16 PM

The Atlantic Paranormal Society is meeting in its construction trailer in the front yard of Jason Hawes’ house in Warwick, Rhode Island. Are numbers flagging? There’s a new guy in addition to the hard-core core of Jason, Grant, Brian, Steve, and Donna.

Jason: “Mike’s from our Massachusetts branch.”

Mike Dion, Investigator, shakes hands with Grant.

Grant tells us: “Mike is an investigator with one of our TAPS family groups up in Massachusetts. He’s been doing it for a long time. He’s really knowledgeable with equipment – he builds his own equipment and he’s got a lot to offer.”

MB: Oh god, it’s that creepy TAPS family business again.

TM: The family strike force.

MB: The paranormal mafia.

TM: Disfunction Is Us.

MB: He looks normal.

TM: But he’s here.

MB: True.

Jason: All right, guys – we’re off to an armory in New Bedford, Mass today. I guess there’s been a lot of reports of – uh – just – things walking down the hallway, scaring people. A lot of people don’t even want to come to work due to seeing things walking in the hallway and, uh…”

TM: Ai-yi-yi – I’ve had that exact same experience.

MB: Full disclosure – the Talking Mongoose is all agog because it once knew the New Bedford Armory somewhat intimately.

TM: That’s not what I’m talking about. I never heard about any ghost there, and a virulent if non-lethal pox upon their houses for that. I mean the job with the thing walking in the hallway.

MB: Your boss?

TM: That one. People hated coming to work.

MB: Well, um – I don’t believe National Guard members are afraid to come to work because of a ghost.

TM: Yeah, that part’s hooey.

Grant: “Yeah, our contact there didn’t really give us too much information so we’re not quite sure what we’re running into but we know that people are disturbed by it.”

Jason: “So Donna, you’re going to be on interviews. You guys, of course, are on equipment. We’re bringing thermal imaging camera, we’re bringing DVR systems…”

Mike: When was the last time something happened there?
Jason: “Not sure. We’ll find that out tonight. Let’s make it work! Let’s get all set and do it.”

MB: He said “make it work!”

TM: “Let’s make it work.”

MB: He’s quoting Tim Gunn.

TM: He’s not.

MB: Steve is wearing that horrible TAPS shirt again. And look – Grant, of course, get to wear a red sweater. I bet he heard red is good on t.v.

TM: I bet it’s the only one that’s clean. I refuse to discuss TAPS fashion. But have you noticed Brian’s always in jeans when everyone else is in cut-offs?

The vans head east to New Bedford.

Jason: “It’s nice doing a local case, man.”

Grant: “It is nice. Getting home to the family tonight – it’s going to be nice. This is yet another time that like – a military group has called us in to help them out.”

Jason: “I honestly believe that any time that state officials call you in, they must truly believe that they have some kind of activity at this building because it’s followed the chain up to the point where they’ve said “You know what? All right, get these guys here.”

MB: They didn’t. Not the National Guard.

TM: Well, but it’s the Massachusetts National Guard.

MB: Bite your tongue. You’re just still mad they didn’t tell you about their ghost.

TM: I’ll say.

MB: Apparently Jason and Grant aren’t going to tell us anything, either.

TM: They don’t know anything.

MB: You said it.

Grant: “Maybe we should just become a branch of the government.”

Jason: “As long as they fund us, and it’s not coming out of our pocket, I think it’s great.”

Grant: “We’ll probably have worse equipment than we have now.”

Jason and Grant have a good chortle.

The vans pull up at the drill shed side of the armory and everyone falls out. The armory is a massive stone structure with round corner towers, and round-arched windows and openings. It looks like a real fortress, and it has real soldiers – the Massachusetts National Guard.

Two of them in camo come out to greet the gang. Jason and Grant make their usual insightful contributions to the back-story of the place.

TM: Mme. B, you are supposed to be unbiased when you are doing the regular recap typing.

MB: Yeah, and you didn’t go to that stupid church last time.

TM: Okay. Sheesh. This was your idea, remember.

MB: Leave it.

Jason: “This is an incredible building from the outside.”

Sgt. Rebello: “Yes. It’s quite large.”

Jason: “When was it built?”

Sgt. Rebello: “1903. Come on in.”

Jason: “Awesome.”

Grant: “I feel like I’m an airplane going into a hanger.”

Jason: “This place is huge.”

Grant: “It seems like an easy building to fall in love with, you know what I mean?”

Sgt. Rebello: “Absolutely. A place you can call home, if you have to.”

TM: Heh.

Staff Sergeant Joe Rebello is the Medical Section Chief for this battalion of the National Guard. He takes Jason and Grant to his former Medical Section Room, now empty.

MEDICAL SECTION ROOM 6:30 PM

When the room was in use and full of stuff, Rebello was working there alone. He recounts how the big metal door of the room slammed shut on him, loudly.

Rebello: “There was nobody in the armory but me. I came out, looked around, obviously scared out of my wits – this was August of 2003. I was sweatin’ when I walked out. It was very hot outside – 80’s anyway, and then I had just like a cold chill. I took a breath and there was condensation, and I was physically physically cold.”

Grant: “So you actually saw your breath?”

Rebello: “Absolutely. And I’ve never said that before to anybody ‘cause – you know…”

Grant: “Kinda weird.”

Rebello laughs: “Yeah.”

MB: So that never happened to you?

TM: No.

Sergeant Steve Thrasher, USNG: “As you can see the place floods. The armorer – the guy that actually does the work here and repairs things – he’s been working down here, working on those pipes, and see footsteps going through the water – like the invisible man, walking across the water. One particular individual said as he was walking toward that particular light switch right there to turn it on, he saw a shrouded figure standing there and he just went ‘okay, all right, that’s it’ and took off.”

Grant: “Standing at the light switch?”

Thrasher: “Standing at the light switch.”

Jason: “Saw a black shrouded figure?”

Thrasher: “Like a black shrouded figure like the outline of a silhouette of a human being.”

MB: So you never saw any black shrouded figures or wet footprints?

TM: NO! I remember that puddle of water, though. Or one like it.

MB: Well, that’s something.

TM: Shut up.

Rebello takes them into another part of the building, where some powder magazines are, and very oddly, some handcuffs chained to a brick wall. Hilarity doesn’t ensue when Jason and Grant re-enact Abu Ghraib. Jason thinks it’s awesome. Grant says it’s not the weird stuff they’re looking for, though.

They see the office in the main building where the 1^st sergeant allegedly hung himself, before the day of dropped acoustic tile ceilings.

MB: There must be some statute of limitations for how long you have to be respectful about things like torture and suicide.

TM: Yeah, no.

The tour winds up back at the drill shed, where a catwalk/balcony crosses one end, looking out over the shed space. The catwalk was once used to observe drills in the large room from above.

Grant: “Anyone ever describe any threatening feelings?”

MB: I think we’ve missed some explication here.

TM: Must you be told every last nitpicky detail? Obviously we are in the haunted hot spot.

MB: Why can’t we have dramatic narrative instead of dramatic non-sequiturs?

TM: They didn’t budget for dramatic narrative. They had to spend too much on all those trips to Pennsylvania.

Rebello: “The armorer complained to me one time he was walking across the drill shed floor and he felt he was shoved…”

Jason: “Really?”

Rebello: “where he lost his balance. Didn’t fall down, but he lost his balance. He told that to me and I find that to be credible, also.”

Jason and Grant look ever so slightly alarmed.

The tour winds up, and Jason declares it’s time to set up the equipment and see if they can catch anything. Outside, night falls on the fortress.

TM: Bang! It’s night.

MB: You jumped the gun on that joke, if that’s a joke.

TM: I jumped the gun?

MB: Oh, never mind.

Jason: “All right, what – uh – equipment of yours did you bring tonight?”

Mike: “Everything I had.”

Elsewhere, Steve is rudely but approvingly rummaging in Mike’s equipment case, pulling things out and naming them for us. “Point and shoot thermometer – sweet. Infrared flashlight, homemade infrared illuminator that Mike made. This will send out the infrared beam so you have to have a night-vision camera. He’s got a Geiger counter here somewhere.”

The Geiger counter is found.

Brian: “Don’t know what it does?”

Steve: “I know what it does. I just don’t know how it’s measured.”

Brian: “Come to my lecture and I’ll tell ya.”

Steve: “why don’t you explain this to me, Mr. Show-Me-Your-Lecture?”

MB: This can’t end well.

TM: Ssh! I have to hear this.

Brian: “All right. It’s actually made – it’s actually made up to – actually – um – sense radioactive material. That’s the way Geiger counters are.”

Steve: “Right.”

Brian: “First off, you zero-ize it.”

Steve: “Zero-ize?”

Brian: “See – it says zero…”

Steve: “Zero-ize?”

Brian: “Yeah, zero-ize. That’s what I call it.”

Steve: “Zero-ize?”

Brian: “Now these right here – these are just like – this is just like – uh – an EMF detector. A hundred to ten to one then point zero to point one – uh…”

Steve: “So what does that mean?”

Brian: “Uh – a hun- – it’s actually – it’s actually more like – uh – it’s actually almost like milligauss but it’s not like the word for it, but it’s, uh – base milligauss based on his – his – uh…”

MB: That bitch Steve – look at him!

TM: He’s nodding and smiling.

MB: Because he’s about to whack him.

Steve: “Who is he? Geiger?”

There is a long moment of silence.

Brian: “Actually I don’t know who made it.”

Steve: “Okay, I got it.” He tries to retrieve the Geiger counter from Brian.

Brian: Um – milli – um – EMF detector’s based of this so…”

Steve: “Yes. I see.”

Brian: “What?”

Steve: “Sure it does.”

Brian: “I’m trying to explain it to you and you’re not…”

Steve: “You are? You just went through the same thing anybody looking at it coulda went through.”

Brian looks at us/the camera. “You’re such an asshole.”

Elsewhere, Steve opines: “I had my doubts whether or not he knew how to use a Geiger counter. Um – if he does, that’s cool ‘cause I don’t. If he doesn’t, then he shoulda just said.”

Elsewhere, Brian fumes: “Wants to try to embarrass me like that? You know? Next time he wants something said to him, I ain’t gonna tell him. Screw him.”

TM: Ooh. That’s going to hurt.

MB: It will if he’s looking for the sandwiches.

Grant and Jason are still with Sergeant Rebello. It’s light-killing time. Only here there’s a nice master panel box with rows of switches to flip in sequence rapidly. It’s very professional light killing, of the type the TAPS gang must envy. But it’s Sergeant Thrasher who gets to do it.

TM: I remember that panel box!

MB: Did you ever kill the lights?

TM: No.

THE INVESTIGATION

NEW BEDFORD ARMORY

Saturday 9:35 PM

Catwalk

Steve is talking to Mike Dion about cold spots. He’s got a 2.4 spike on his EMF reader.

Mike: “A second ago I just – a spike – it went up to a hundred-something degrees and went right back down. The overall room temperature is about 63 degrees.”

Steve: “Whoa. You feel that cold spot right here, dude?”

Mike: “Just now I – my reading dropped down to 49.”

Brian: “Are you still getting it?”

Steve: “Yeah, it’s like all right around here. Come here and feel it. It comes and goes.”

Brian: “Over here, guys. It’s cold over here.”

Steve: “You feel it?”

Brian: “Yeah. Right here. Right here right here right here. Cold breeze right here. Just got a cold breeze.”

Steve puts his arms up to feel the air.

Brian: “Yeah, it’s back here now. It’s right here. Right here, right here.”

Steve: “You’re right fuckin’ here. You ain’t kiddin’.”

Brian: “Right here, dude.”

Mike: “It’s back up this way now.”

Brian: “It’s back here now. It’s probably – it’s coming this way. That is awesome, dude! What a cold spot!

They are surrounding “it” with EMF readers, thermometers, cameras, flashlights.

TM: They get so excited over cold spots. I don’t understand why they don’t have a way of documenting the temperature. Given that they’re so big on proof. Proof schmoof. How am I supposed to believe Brain’s conniptions otherwise?

MB: But if they had a ghost-hunting dog…

TM: I’d believe the dog. No question. A dog barking at a cold spot and I’d say case closed, you’re haunted, good night and good luck.

MB: That’s not exactly a rigorous investigative technique.

TM: The dog doesn’t need to wave its paws in the air.

In another part of the building, Jason and Grant are nursing their new baby, the thermal imaging camera.

Grant: “Can you see all right?”

Jason: “No, I’m walking blind but I’m okay with it.

MEDICAL SECTION ROOM 10:10 PM

Jason wants to test the door that Sgt. Rebello reported closing on him unexpectedly. He slams it.

Jason: “That’s a heavy door, Grant. Feel it.”

Grant: “Yeah, but it does move kind of easy. Watch this.”

He pushes the door a little, and it drifts a little.

Jason: “See, that’s not a slam.”

Grant: “Yeah, I don’t know. If you’re not expecting it…”

Jason: “He said – remember. When he was down here he said that it hit hard – like that. Uh. Let’s move on.”

The editors take us back to the guys on the catwalk above the drill shed floor.

Brian: “Steve, my battery is – was at 128 minutes when I first started it down this hallway. It’s 63 now.”

Grant explains elsewhere: “An entity itself when it manifests it usually will drain your batteries down because it’s drawing the energy from somewhere and it’s gonna cause an energy disruption.”

Brian: “Half the battery’s gone.”

TM: Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo. Something is coming.

MB: Just think, if we had stuck with Thomas Edison’s direct current, ghosts could just plug themselves into wall outlets.

TM: That would be really useful. What are you talking about?

Jason: “Why don’t we go to the area where that guy hung himself.”

MB: Yes, let’s!

STAFF SERGEANT’S OFFICE

NEW BEDFORD ARMORY

is seen in a lovely thermal neon green.

Jason: “You getting anything on that yet, G.?”

Grant: “I’m not getting anything yet.”

Another damn plumber toilet non-joke is made. It is not worth repeating.

Jason: “Did you see something go by?”

Grant: “Yeah, I did see something go by. Oh – there goes another one.”

Jason: “What do you think that was?”

They wave their hands in front of the camera to compare the effect.

Grant: “It didn’t look like that, that’s for sure.”

ARMORY CATWALK 10:30 PM

Steve, Brian and Mike are still having fits over their cold spots.

Brian: “Right here.”

Mike: “We’re in the 60’s again, and I’m in the same spot I was a minute ago getting 20’s.”

Brian: “Right here, right here.”

Steve: “Right here. Holy fuck! Right here!”

Brian, laughing: “I know, dude! Hold on – I’m backing up. I’m going to back up and see if I can get some video.”

TM: You do realize that just looking at the dialogue out of context, one might almost think you were transcribing a porn film.

MB: I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.

TM: It’s hard not to, what with Brian having these continuous noisy orgasms.

Somewhere upstairs, Jason and Grant are waving their hands in front of the thermal camera again. A mysterious something has been flashing by, but it’s not registering as a cold spot, or as warm hands.

Grant: “Nah. There’s no way. That was really hot.”

Jason: “Wow.”

MB: Damn it. Now that you’ve mentioned it, it’s all I can hear.

Back at the catwalk.

Mike: “Whoa. Did you just feel that? Guys – right here, it’s cool. Right here, Steve. Right here!”

Steve waves hand over spot.

Mike: “It was getting cold – actual…”

Steve: Wait – right here. Feel this right here. Right here.”

Mike: “Oh my god. Steve – right here.”

TM: Hee hee.

MB: Shut up!

Mike: It’s actually – it was actually chilly. I got goosebumps.” He displays his bare arm to the camera.

Mike: “Show yourself so we can take a picture.”

Brian has a video camera, Mike has a still camera, and Steve is continuing to use the highly sophisticated temperature sensing device – arms in air.

There is a clattering sound, and then a rising hubbub.

“Frank?” “You all right?” “You okay?” “What’d you do?” “What happened?”

The camera pans around to focus on Frank, a man in a fishing hat, who is lying flat on his back on the floor.

Brian: “Get some lights on. Get some lights on in here. Something threw him down, dude.”

There’s the ghost of a former commercial break, and the downing of Frank is replayed for the first, but so not the last, time.

MB: You count. I always have to count.

TM: No, you. I’ll just lose track.

MB: Ah, jeez.

Steve: “What happened?”

Frank, in a weak voice that requires Pilgrim Films and Television, Inc. to provide captioning: “Something just went right through me.”

Steve: “What?”

Brian: “Frank, are you all right?”

It’s Frank deAngelis, production soundman. Frank says some word silently. It’s probably “fuck.”

Brian: “Get some help.

Steve: “So you need help up? Turn some lights on.” He takes hold of Frank’s hand.

Brian: “Get some lights on. Get some lights on in here. Get some lights on.”

Steve: “Hold on. Let’s take – let’s unhook the audio…”
The production crew is joining in the ministrations to Frank. “Get this stuff off him.” Frank is non-responsive, to say the least.

Brian announces again, to no one in particular: “Something threw him down, dude!”

Equipment is detached from the downed soundman. Someone is sent to fetch Jason and Grant. “Hey man – uh – fuck – Frank just fell down.”

Grant: “What?!”

Jason: “Where is he?”

Crew guy: “He fell down or something. He’s on the catwalk.”

Jason: “All right.”

Crew guy: “I don’t know. He’s just lying there.”

Back on the catwalk:

Someone: “Frank, are you okay, man?”

Frank: “No.”

TM: An honest man! Look!

MB: He’s in shock.

TM: I know, because otherwise he’d be saying he was fine. He probably wouldn’t be moving but he’d be “fine.” Like Steve at the Lighthouse Inn.

Grant and Jason burst through some double doors.

Grant: “What happened?”

Brian: “Don’t move him.”

Steve: “Did you hurt your back?”

Frank: “Yeah.”

Brian, the broken record: “Something – something threw him down.”

Steve: “He went with his sound equipment and everything. His sound equipment bounced off the ground.”

Mike: “Yeah, right when I took the picture.”

Jason: “Frank?”

Steve: “You want ice, Frank?”

Brian: “I’ll go. I’ll go.”

Jason: “The best thing is gonna be not to move him right now.”

Steve: “Yeah, you don’t want to move him. Get some ice and some water for him.”

TM: This may be more exciting than when Brian ran out of that cell block at Eastern State Penitentiary!

MB: This may be more exciting than that moving chair at Race Rock Lighthouse!

TM: How pathetic does this sound?

MB: Whose fault is it that ghosts are so bloody boring?

TM: Whose idea was it to make ghost hunting an hour-long episodic television series?

MB: Frank needs some ice. Or a gurney. Medic!!!

Brian pounds off, shoes squeaking on linoleum. The camera follows him shakily down some steps to the outside. “Don, I need your help. Something threw Frank down and he’s all hurt right now. Have to get some ice and stuff, yeah. Something threw him down.”

There’s the whishh of ice being scooped up from somewhere near the vans.

TM: Ha – they’re at coolers. I knew they had coolers somewhere. That’s where they keep all the sodies and sandwiches. Is Don the caterer?

The camera following Brian has gone berserk. We see car keys and other edifying shots of parts of things. Someone does not seem to be looking through the lens anymore.

MB: I don’t think they have an emergency plan.

TM: For what?

MB: For when someone gets whacked by the dark forces and all. Oh my god – we don’t have the twins! Of all the times for them to leave the twins at home. We need Carl and Keith!

TM: And a dog!

Back on the catwalk.

Jason: “Now is it your head?”

Frank: “It’s my back and my chest.”

Jason: “Is it from the fall or…”

Steve: “Is something still afflicting you or is it from the fall?”

Frank is in no mood to chat.

Frank: “I think my back is from the fall.”

Jason: “Your chest is from something else?”

Frank: “Something just went fucking through me.”

There is silence all around. What can you say?

Then someone says again “Don’t move him.” Grant, Mike and Steve are all squatting with Jason around Frank. There is general murmuring of an inconclusive nature.

Jason: “You didn’t get any visual or anything?”

MB: Leave it to Jason to think of the production first.

TM: Maybe he just wants to be able to recognize it if – uh, it comes back?

Frank: “I couldn’t breathe all of a sudden.”

MB: Yeah, Jason, he couldn’t breathe and you’re asking him about “getting visuals”?

Frank: “It just took me right from my head. My chest went up to my head. It fuckin’ pulled me back.” He’s still talking so low we get captions.

Grant: “What hurts right now?”

Jason: “His chest and his back. His back from the fall, his chest from whatever. He didn’t see what hit him but something hit him.”

Grant: “Internal? Or external? Like muscle?”

Frank: “I feel like there’s a fuckin’ weight on my chest right now.”

Jason: “What’d you feel when you…”

Frank: “I got cold. It was something just right from – right from the floor it seems came up and just took me up and snapped my head back and took me off.”

A bunch of jackets have been collected from the crew and are handed over to Jason to cover up poor Frank. Grant takes his sweater off. Mike takes his jacket off. Jason bundles them. Donna has appeared and is sitting next to Frank’s head.

Now that he’s started, Frank keeps talking: “Right when my head snapped back, I was just yanked down.”

SSG Rebello, the handy chief medical officer, arrives and takes charge none too soon.

Rebello: “Can I get something for him to put his feet on?”

There is general gawking now that someone has taken command. Rebello assesses the situation. “I’m going to take your blood pressure and I think just about everything other than surgery right now. I’m going to try to avoid it at all costs.”

MB: Do I hear someone with an actual sense of humor?

Frank seems to be in another world. He says something to Rebello, and waves his fingers feebly, but doesn’t move otherwise. He hasn’t moved at all since he went down.

Rebello: “If you hurt yourself we need to get you looked at. I understand that but what about back here at the back of your neck? Any pain?”

It’s concluded Frank hasn’t done himself any serious harm, and Rebello and Jason ease him up to a sitting position. Rebello rubs Frank’s shoulder.

Jason: “I got him, Steve.”

Rebello: “How do you feel right now? Are you having any pain anywhere?”

Frank shakes his head slightly.

Rebello: “Very important you tell me, so I can treat you appropriately, all right? You feeling twinges and stuff…”

They pull off some of the pile of jackets. Frank starts wheezing.

Someone: “Cold, Frank?”

Frank: “My face is numb.”

Rebello: “Well, you’re breathing a little bit fast.”

Someone – Steve or Jason? – says, “Yeah, it does those things.”

Frank fumbles at his hat, pulls it down over his face, and starts to cry.

It’s uncomfortable to watch.

TM: Because you have no idea what he’s going through?

MB: Or you do, and you want to start blubbering, too.

Jason interviews: “My biggest concern right now is Frank’s emotional state, and a lot of times that happens when somebody’s been physically touched by an entity or knocked down. A lot of times they get – they get bits and pieces of that entity’s life because they’ve been touched.”

Grant interviews: “You feel someone else’s feelings. You feel – you may see someone else’s thoughts in that instant, and – uh – but they’re burned into your brain.”

Jason: “Me and Grant need to – uh – sit down with Frank and discuss what happened with him. Uh – it’s probably going to be like pulling teeth, but I really think we need to do it. Try to find out what he really experienced besides being pushed down. Did he see anything? Did – uh – did he feel anything? These – these are factors that are really gonna play in good right now.”

MB: Creep. He’s not thinking about Frank. And I’ll bet you anything he knows perfectly well “me and Grant” is sucky stupid English, but he is constitutionally incapable of putting Grant first, even in a sentence.

TM: Jeezum crow – now, you’re accusing him of faking bad English? Although…

Jason and Grant walk Frank off to an interrogation room for a private torture session. The door closes with a thwack.

NEW BEDFORD ARMORY 11:30 PM

The music guy is providing us with doleful bell and organ chords. We have a nice shot of the door of the room in which Frank is being held captive. It’s an old door – wood-paneled. We can hear remarkably well through it!

Jason: “You know you have our utmost respect. You know you’ve had it from Day One. If you can just explain to me exactly what happened with ya.”

Frank: “We’re just workin’ up on the catwalk and all of a sudden I just got this – this wave of air or energy or I don’t know what it was, came just right up and – right under my chin, just knocked me under the chin and threw my head back. And the next thing I knew I was gettin’ just pulled right down onto the floor and this felt like it was this big pressure pushing down on my chest like it was just something sitting there.”

Jason: “Your crying earlier – you know – between us – was it the fact that you were hit by something that wasn’t there?”

MB: “Just between us?” Us and all the – uh –

TM: Dozens.

MB: Just between us and all our dozens of viewers at home, yeah. It’s perfectly private.

Frank: “Yes. I don’t want to say this – I’m just – af- af- afraid of – of – of – of stuff like – you know – I’m just not.”

Jason: “I understand that.”

Frank: “I think after – I mean it didn’t – it’s not like it – it – it – it – okay, this is how it feels. It felt like everything that – all of my fears, all of the things that I’m afraid of – of things that might happen – all of that was realized in that (he snaps or slaps something – I hope it’s Jason (MB)) – in that half a second, as – as it hit me and as it pulled me down, just as I’m hittin’ the floor I’m thinking – you know – oh my god. It’s like – inside it’s like fuckin’ doomsday for me right now.”

MB: Thank you, Frank deAngelis. I know he probably didn’t sign up for
having to reveal quite so much of himself but that was fascinating. Maybe it’s a coincidence, or maybe it isn’t, but do you know what that description sounded just like? I mean, in a really disjointed and inarticulate way?

TM: I’m afraid to find out.

MB: Dementors!

TM: Golly. He needs chocolate then?

Grant: “This type of thing will change you in some way or another and you know, we are here as confidantes, you know, should you feel things are starting to change, okay? I mean, we’ve done this type of thing with a lot of people so we care very very much about you, Frank, and I’ll tell you both of our hearts stopped when we saw that.”

Frank: “Well, I appreciate the concern, guys.”

TM: “Things starting to change” sounds really ominous, like maybe he’s going to develop gills and flippers.

MB: And they have to put him into a pod. Under the trailer. And then…

Jason: ‘Whyn’t you – uh – whyn’t you rest up for a few? You want to chill out in here by yourself and be left alone?”

MB: The man has just looked into the maw of hell and Jason is proposing to leave him alone with his thoughts. Sensitive.

Frank: “No. I gotta – I gotta continue.”

Jason: “Let’s get you out of this room.”

Frank: “Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.”

The three emerge from the “private” room, with Grant patting Frank on the back, and they cross the drill shed back to the cameras.

Steve and Brian are interviewed in night-vision, some time after the tossing of Frank, have opinions about what he encountered.

Steve interviews: “I just feel bad for Frank ‘cause I don’t know what he’s experienced, and if – uh – if this is his first then it could be pretty – pretty traumatic for him.”

Brian: “This is what I think – my personal opinion – I think Steve agrees – When J. and Grant went around with the thermal imager they were getting a very hot spot going by the camera. Spirits are cold. Inhumans are hot.”

Steve: “I think it could be an inhuman only if for the mere fact that it’s not typical of a human haunting to – to throw somebody.”

We see Frank wandering, still looking a bit dazed.

Brian: “I’ve never seen it. Even Jason – has it – most spirits – human spirits – can’t lift over five or ten pounds. Inhumans can lift 300 pounds, if they wanted to.

Brian: “Let’s go and find this damn thing.”

Steve mutters something.

TM: Get outta here. They’re saying it was an “inhuman” spirit? That the New Bedford Armory is Satan’s lair?

MB: More like the lair of one of his henchmen, I think. This is why we need Carl and Keith.

TM: That’s absurd.

MB: Yes, but it’s very exciting!

TM: The National Guard isn’t going to appreciate this. They’ve got enough on their plate.

TAPS COMMAND CENTER

NEW BEDFORD ARMORY

Rebello, Thrasher, Grant, Donna, and some other National Guard guy are gathered around a monitor reviewing Frank’s fall again.

Rebello: “Now what are we looking for?”

Grant: “Bam, he’s down. It’s not uncommon, gentlemen.”

Jason: “It looks like his feet came off the ground…”

Donna: “That’s what I said. I mean I was – watch when he comes back it looks like his foot…”

Grant: “Now watch when you watch it in reverse. You can see his legs zzupp – he goes – stands right up in reverse.”

Jason: “I know you guys work here but I have to say it. Anybody else – I’d be siding against it, but I honestly have to say if – it being Frank – you know what I mean? I really can’t second-guess that.”

Elsewhere, the underlings are gearing up for another assault on the armory ghosts.

Brian: All right, let’s do this.”

Steve: “No thermometer, Brian? No thermometer?”

Brian: “Got it right here.

Mike: “I have it, too.”

Steve: “We’re headed back up to the second floor to find this thing.”

TM: Great. They’re going to go trap a demon with thermometers.

MB: Better that than Steve’s arms. But why didn’t they call one of the twins? It’s not even midnight. I think this warrants an emergency demonologist run to New Bedford.

TM: It’s 40 miles.

MB: That’s nothing. It’s a demon. Or so they would have us believe.

ARMORY SECOND FLOOR 11:55 PM

Except they are in a completely different part of the building now. They seem to be where Jason and Grant were with the thermal camera earlier, in the main building, office area.

TM: Oh, I get it. They don’t really want to catch what knocked down Frank. Not that I blame them. I wouldn’t stick around that catwalk, either.

Brian: “Dude! Dude! Ssh! Something just moved in front of me, dude. It shot in that way – wall – right? It’s like squeak squeak squeak. You go inside that way. I’ll go in this way. Surround this fucker.”

MB: This never works.

Steve and Mike go around the corner from Brian. Brian is calling off his EMF readings excitedly. “3.0, 3.1, 2.9, 2.9, 3.0. It’s right here. 3.1, 3.3”

Mike: “Does the cold go up and down with it?”

TM: Hey – an intelligent question. If Brian would just shut up…

Brian: “2.9 It’s going down. It’s going up right here. It’s right here. 3.5. 3.4. This is the strongest. 63 degrees. Steady temperature – 63.”

Steve: “Brian? Brian! Cold spot. Cold spot to hell.”

Steve has his hand in the air again.

MB: Apparently hell has frozen over.

TM: Whatever it is, it’s very floaty. It’s always six feet off the floor.

Brian: “Move out of the way, guys. 71. 60. 61.”

Steve: “Give it to me right here, Brian. Brian – put your hands up. Put your hands up!”

Brian: “Oh, yeah!”

TM: Ow! What? I didn’t say a thing.

Steve: “Put your hands up right here. Nothin’s coming out of these windows, Brian. Nothin’.”

Brian: “I’m getting 1.9 in here now. Point five. Point three. There’s nothing here. I’m not getting anything. Let’s go in these other rooms. I was getting a high reading over there.”

Yeah, show’s over. Downstairs, however, Donna LaCroix is getting the heebie-jeebies after the fact.

Donna: “I hope something like this doesn’t happen again tonight.”

Grant: “So what’s bothering you, Donna?”

Donna: “What’s bothering me is that – it’s not really what happened tonight. It’s the fact that I can’t shake it.”

Grant: “Wha?”

Donna: “I can’t shake the feeling of being scared. Like I wanna be here and I wanna be out with you guys and see what’s going on and be a part of this, but I just – I – this – shakiness about me I just don’t like it. I don’t like not feeling in control with what’s going on here.”

Grant: “Things happen. I mean I’ve been smacked in the face by something that wasn’t there, and I had an experience very much like Frank’s, and you cannot explain it until it happens to you. And I think if it happened to you – not that I hope it happens to you (ha ha) but if it does then I think…”

Donna: “No, I’ve had experiences before…”

Grant: “you’ll be tougher then.”

Donna: “It’s not like I’m – I’m…”

Grant: “I know.”

Donna: “I have had things happen. You know this. It’s just – (she scratches her head, eyes to ceiling) I’d rather see what’s coming ahead of me usually.”

Grant: “Right, but it’s not going to happen in this field. Just accept that there are things around you right now, watching you, and they could possibly affect you. It’s a fact. Don’t think that ‘oh, man – this can’t happen.’ Think ‘it’s going to happen.’ It’s just a matter of time. If you’re ready, if you’re prepared for it, then there’s no fear.”

Donna: “Well, I don’t want it to happen.” She laughs self-consciously.

Grant: “Then maybe you shouldn’t be here.”

Donna: “No. I want to be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

MB: Donna Donna Donna. Make up your mind, woman.

ARMORY SECOND FLOOR 1:18 AM

The TAPS tech crew is still embedded in the second floor offices, scouting for the supernatural.

TM: Prospecting for the paranormal.

MB: Whatever.

Brian: “Is there a spirit in these rooms?”

Steve is still walking around with his hands in the air.

MB: I think he’s stuck, like the Tin Woodman.

Brian: “If so, give us a sign of your presence. Whyn’t you show yourself.?

Camera pans to show Frank holding his gear, looking stoic.

Brian: “Whyn’t you give me a sign of your presence? Ask to take a picture again. It worked last time.”

Mike: “Show yourself in the photo.”

Brian: “Steve, sit over there. Mike, sit over there.”

Mike: “Where?”

Brian: “In that corner. If there is a presence in this room, what is your name? Are you an Army officer? I demand you to show yourself. Or – hit Steve, if you are an evil spirit. Show yourself to us.”

MB: Ha. Yeah, hit Steve.

Grant is trying to inspire Donna with a tale of their fearless leader. He is talking very. slowly. So she will get how important this is.

Grant: “What happens to someone perfectly normal to make them go doing this for so long and such a conviction for the truth?”

We see a shot of fearless leader in night-vision. Jason seems to be meditating, with his TAPS cap on backwards.

Grant continues: “What would make someone take that much time from the family and their job, that much money from their family, to pursue something like this, if he didn’t believe in it?”

MB: Look at that view! This is…

TM: He’s like the Buddha. Noble and contemplative.

MB: Dippy.

Brian: “Well, you know what? We catch something else – which we – we’ve already caught something on film.”

Steve: “But I didn’t capture anything.”

Brian: “I know.”

Steve: “I didn’t experience anything. I experienced a cold spot. I’ve seen cold spots before. I’ve felt ‘em before.”

MB: Ha! He is seriously bummed. Poor Steve.

Brian: “Well, let’s wrap it up.”

Steve pulls himself out of his deep despair and slaps Mike on the back. “Hey, good job. You had some good ideas, tonight.”

TM: I wish we could have heard more of them.

MB: He’s just a TAPS cousin. No screen time for cousins.

TM: This cugino brought his own Geiger counter.

MB: Hey, what happened to that, anyway?

TM: I wonder. I always thought demons should be radioactive. Or, at least, you know, emit radon gas.

Jason: “We definitely got a lot of stuff that we gotta go home and uh – go through so let’s – uh – wrap it up, call it a night.”

Donna: “Sounds good.” Unlike Steve, she’s not at all disappointed.

Jason and Grant thank their USNG hosts. The sergeants are wearing their cool berets. The vans pull off.

Grant: “I keep thinking we just hung out with Bruce Willis.”

THE ANALYSIS

TAPS HEADQUARTERS

MONDAY 8:15 PM

Brian is so energized, someone should probably zero-ize him.

Brian: “All right, dude – let’s do this stuff. Let’s do this armory stuff.” He claps his hands. “We caught so much – we caught stuff on the thermal – Jason said he had some stuff going back and forth so we gotta check that out. (Steve is wiping his nose) Frank getting laid out like a – bad sack of potatoes…”

Steve: “Bad sack of potatoes?” Where’d you come up with that one?”

Brian laughs with slightly manic glee: “Right here, man.” He taps his forehead.

Steve: “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Brian: “I know, dude.”

Brian is now wearing a “Ghost were people, too!” t-shirt. “All right, here’s the DVR system, my brother.”

Steve: “Here we go.”

Brian: “Rock on.”

Steve: “See you in seven hours.”

Fortunately, we are immediately transported to the point in the film where Frank falls down.

Brian: “Damn, dude! Damn! We got it! We got a frontal view of him, man! I gotta see that again. Watch his sound gear!”

Steve: “It looks like his sound gear goes up before he even falls.”

Brian: “It goes up first before he moves. Watch – right here.”

They rewatch and Brian explodes with laughter. He has to hold his nose to keep it attached. “He just bites it!”

Steve: “You heard a lot of sound first before the fall. That’s horrible.”

Brian’s reservoir of sympathy is dry.

Brian: “Yeah. Look at the sound gear, dude – right next to his head. Let me rewind this. You gotta realize that I don’t think there’s any documentation of a human spirit throwing somebody.”

Steve: “No. Most researchers believe they don’t have the energy to do it.”

Brian: “I know.”

Steve: “And why would they do it? Are they that pissed off? I thought he was joking, you know? But then – that’s what I say right here. I said hey. Then the fact that he was crying really hard for a good – half hour – you know what I mean? Like – I know kids who can’t even cry for half an hour.”

Brian. “Definitely. I know.”

MB: Don’t believe it.

TM: Me, either.

MB: Gross exaggeration.

TM: Really.

MB: Watch your back, Steve.

TM: Yeah, for a boom mike.

Brian: “It’s great paranormal activity but this is like – we actually caught somebody getting the hell beaten out of ‘em. We gotta show this to Jason and Grant, man. That’s key right there.”

Steve nods.

MB: Again with the gross exaggeration.

TM: The producers probably made him change “getting his soul ripped from his body.”

MB: It’s a given this is all re-enacted?

TM: Oh, yeah.

THE FINDINGS

TAPS HEADQUARTERS

Tuesday 7:45 PM

Jason: “What’s up, man?”

Brian: “Uh – not much. We’re going to give you the download on the – uh – evidence that we caught at the armory, including the whole Frank fiasco.”

Grant: “Very niiiiiice.” He grins broadly. “That was crazy.”

Steve: “We gotta…”

Brian: “No no no sshh sshh sshh. Don’t tell ‘em we got the…sshh.”

Grant: “Well, I know we caught it on the DVR.”

Brian: This is the first thing we’re going to show you – we’re going to show you the DVR. It’s very hard to see – that’s Frank right there.”

Steve: “It probably needs watching a few times ‘cause you see him take it and then…”

Brian: “He’s about to take it right now.”

Grant: “Blam!”

Steve: “Yeah.”

Grant: “Oh ho ho! Man!

Brian: “He gets hit hahd.”

Grant: “That’s like wrestling stuff. I can see right here we’ve got about three or four lights shining on the guy. Did we catch it with another camera or anybody – our – the crew or us?”

Steve: “I don’t know what the crew has, but – um…”

Brian: “We got it.”

Steve: “We got it.” We got the full frontal.”

TM: Do you think they’ve noticed, too, and are doing it deliberately?

MB: I think you’re giving them too much credit.

Grant: “Full frontal?”

Jason: “Get outta here.”

Grant: “Are you serious?”

Brian: ‘When we’re reviewing it – for some reason I pan over right to where Frank is and you see Frank go piztfbtl.” Brian throws his hands in the air.

Grant: “No way! Nice job!” He high-fives Brian.

Brian: “I’m gonna show you that right now so I’m gonna do that.”

Jason: “That’s awesome.”

Steve: “I don’t know how he got it but…”

Grant: “You got the whole thing?

Brian: “The whole thing.”

Grant: “Man, let’s see this.”

Steve: “You’ll see me turn and look at him.”

Brian: “Right here.”

Grant: “It’s right there! Ohhh hoh!!! My god!”

Brian: “And then he bites it. Now watch.”

Jason: “You screamed in my ear.”

Grant: “Sorry, man.”

Brian: “Look at the sound gear. They actually take it off before you guys come up there.”

Grant: “There’s no way Frank would throw his gear like that. That is messed up.”

Jason: “I hate to smile, man, but we caught that on the front view.”

Grant: “I love Frank like a brother but holy crap! You know what I mean?” He bumps fists with Brian. “He was out of it.”

Brian: “Now you see I’m not really dealing with the camera. I’m just like holding it.”

Jason: “He was down for about a half hour.”

Grant: “It took him like a half hour to get into a chair.”

MB: Okay, that, I believe.

Brian: “What he said happened to him was when he was standing there he felt like a cold – a cold, like draft go over his legs, come up his body, and then hit him in the gut, and then hit him in the face, and if you notice – I’ll play it back a few times – you see his sound gear jump up before he moves back, so it’s like something hit the sound gear.”

Grant: “You know what’s interesting about that if – you and I were using the thermal camera and we caught stuff, and it must have been the same time that you guys started feeling cold spots ‘cause it was like exactly the same time. When we went back and we were feeling and we were seeing these things again and that’s when Frank got smacked.”

Jason: “Yeah, that’s when we got – they yelled for us.”

Grant: “So it jives – they jive right on the bat.”

Steve: “We were getting cold spots – that’s why my arms are up. I was feeling the cold spot and we were getting cold spots all over right when Frank…”

Jason: “Ours wasn’t cold. Ours was…”

Grant: “No. Ours were warm.”

Jason: “Ours were warm.”

Steve: “Would a human spirit be able (he strokes his nose) – be able to use that kind of force?”

Grant: “The way he described – having been someone who’s never experienced it before, and the way he described it to me, it sounds like it jives with every other account of something like that but just more severe. I gotta say – it’s – I’ve experienced hostility first-hand – not like that.”

Steve: “That’s scary.”

Grant: “Which jives, I mean. That…”

Jason: “What do you think it was?”

Grant: “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

MB: I don’t think Grant thinks it was a demon.

TM: Damn. I wanted to see Jason tell the National Guard they had a demon in their drill shed.

Jason: “So we got Frank getting ton- pretty much toned…”

Steve: “Don’t forget the cold spots.”

Brian: “Cold spots, too.”

Steve: “’Cause we – I did feel cold spots.”

Brian: “Plus we were getting readings. We were getting the EMF readings, too.”

Grant: “And everything seemed to happen right on that catwalk, and honestly, that’s what those guys said when we first…”

Brian: “Yeah, they said – the major said ‘cause when we walked in he turned around and said that’s the major hot spot right there.”

Grant: “We need to have the footage set up and cleaned up before the review and we’ll be all set.”

Brian: “I’ll send it out. I’ll send it out tomorrow morning.”

Grant: “Well, guys. Great work. Good thing with the friggin’ camera – that just made it…”

Steve: “Yeah, that was good, Brian.”

Even Jason: “Yeah, all right. Good job, man.”

The four guys exchange ritual hand clasps all around.

TM: You realize they’ve made this whole episode about Frank falling down?

MB: And the cold spots.

TM: The alleged cold spots. And that’s it. There’s nothing else.

MB: It’s still better than a bunch of dust.

JASON’S HOUSE

TWO DAYS LATER

10:20 AM

Brian has the Frank fiasco footage back from the post house. He and Jason re-enact at Jason’s front door.

Brian: “Dude, you gotta check this out. It’s like he got laid out, man. It’s crazy.”

He and Jason sit down at a table in the kitchen.

Jason: “So how many different ways did they do it?

Brian: “Six or seven. They slowed the speed down. They enlarged the frames. This is the normal speed. This is the one we saw. Oh, it’s crazy, man.”

Jason grimaces, laughs.

Brian: “This is 50% speed.”

Jason: “All right, 50% speed. Here we go. It almost looks like the whole bag comes up.”

Brian: “Now, just watch.”

We see Frank dispatched again, but he’s not being pulled to the floor by a demon.

Jason: “Watch. Watch. The whole bag like comes up and hits him in the jaw.”

Brian: “Yeah, now – now he’s got his boom mike in his left hand, right?”

Jason: “That’s nuts.”

Brian: “So Steve said maybe he grabbed his – with his right hand and pulled, but the whole bag comes up. If he would have pulled it with his right hand it would have went this way. It goes straight up.”

Jason: “Yeah, you need to see it at 25 speed.”

Brian: “Yeah, this is cool. This is where you can really see it. See the bag right there.”

Jason: “There it goes. And he falls. Brian, his hand’s up on top of the boom mike.”

Brian: “Oh, yeah! It’s holding the boom mike.

Jason: “Check this out. Look. Bang. He’s got the – he’s holding the boom mike…”

Brian: “With both hands.”

Jason: “The bag comes right up by itself. That’s insane. The whole bag moves. Watch. Look where his arm is. You can’t see his arm ‘cause it’s up over his head. And there goes the bag. Look where his arm is. Holy crap. (shakes head and blinks) Wow. That’s awesome. I’m gonna have to think about this one but yeah, that’s – that’s impressive. That’s incredible.”

Brian: “It is.”

Jason: “Hey, Kris!”

The much put-upon Kris has been sitting in view on a sofa in the living room next to the kitchen, talking out of earshot to an invisible person, awaiting this cue. They need a reason to keep replaying the golden moment.

Jason: “Come here for a minute. I want to show some of this footage we got. All right – look. Here’s Frank. Now watch. Right there, the bag comes up. His arm’s here. His other arm is there. So both arms are up in the air. Watch. See how the bag comes up?”

Brian: “Just lifts up, like it got nailed by something.”

Jason: “What do you think?”

Kris smiles: “Wow. He hit hard.”

Jason: “I – I don’t know what it is. Honestly, I have no idea. I’m definitely going to say that there’s some kind of activity there. And I think Grant’s impression as well.”

Kris: “Have you ever seen anything like this?”

Jason: “Not to that extreme. That was a first.”

Kris: “Wow.”

Jason: “It was a whole learning situation. The only think I can say is thank god Sgt. Rebello was there. After seeing this footage, it wasn’t a medical condition that caused that. It was – uh – it was something paranormal.”

Brian: “Yeah, we caught something, brother.”

TM: Not to nitpick, but I think it was actually Frank who caught something.

MB: I hope he got a really good bonus that year.

TM: And residuals.

MB: You realize he’s glad Rebello was there not to help Frank, but to verify this wasn’t a medical thing?

TM: Leave Jason alone!

THE REVEAL

New Bedford Armory

Saturday 3:00 PM

Jason is driving Grant to New Bedford in the van.

MB: As always. Grant never gets to drive. He’s definitely Scully.

TM: Okay okay okay. I will do the next episode all by myself. Obviously you need a break.

MB: Fine.

Jason: “So what do you think they’re going to say, man? Think about the footage of Frank getting – I’m at a loss for words when it comes down to it. I gotta be honest with you.”

Grant: “What do you think? What’s your verdict? Haunted?”

Jason: “Absolutely not. No, I’m just kidding.

Grant laughs: “What’s it going to take? You know, Brian would be crying right now if he heard you say that.”

Jason: “I believe the place to be haunted. I believe it has some activity in it and so forth. I can’t say what knocked down Frank ‘cause I didn’t see what knocked down Frank but I can tell you what the hell it looks like.”

Grant: “I can tell you what it is. It was his friggin’ sound equipment that knocked down Frank. What moved his sound equipment is a different story. What’s weird about the armory, J., is that you got some cold spots…”

Jason: Some cold and hot spots all mixed into one so I don’t know if we’re working with a total different style haunting here or if it’s just – you know – we need to open up our eyes a little more and…”

Grant: “Expand.”

Jason: “Yeah. See a little more of the spectrum.”

NEW BEDFORD ARMORY

3:35 PM

Jason and Grant sit down at a table with Staff Sgt. Joe Rebello and Captain Winfield Danielson. They are in the drill shed, with a nice view of the now notorious catwalk.

Jason: “Well, you guys know why we came here. We came here due to the claims of paranormal activity that had been said over the years.”

MB: Let’s parse that. He’s very clearly not saying the National Guard asked them to take a look at the Armory. He’s saying they heard it was haunted. That’s all. They heard. They happened by.

TM: Actually, it was Grant who said TAPS had been called in by the military.

MB: But you know Jason made him say it.

TM: Sure. Fine.

Grant: What we did – you guys had a claim that – uh - the hot spot was this area right above us – this catwalk as we called it. So we stuck a camera up there, um – and we stuck a camera down focusing on the door that you saw slam, and, um – we had a camera set up on the second floor ‘cause that seemed to be a hot spot. So Jason and I then took the thermal imaging camera and started to walk around, and as we were walking we’d see a flash of heat go by.”

Jason: “And the funny thing is with it it was a flash of heat but also with cold. A lot of times they say with spirit activity you get cold or hot spots – uh – depending on the kind of spirit you’re dealing with.”

Rebello: “I’ve experienced that cold.”

Jason: “Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now what we ended up have happening was – uh – on the second time that we were getting that strange thing that kept on going by the thermal imaging camera, right after the second time it went by was when Brian and a couple of other people came running in telling us that out sound guy had been hit by something and knocked down. I know you remember that. We greatly appreciate you – uh – coming to his assistance.”

Rebello: “My job. My pleasure.”

Jason: “When you came up there and you checked him out, I know you checked his blood pressure and everything else – did you see anything that could have created that scenario?”

Rebello: “When I arrived, he was – um – lying supine, which means he was on his back. He was covered up. He wasn’t very coherent. His pupils were really dilated and he – uh – wasn’t responding correctly. He seemed to be – um – terrified. It’s what it seemed like to me. He was very sweaty, very clammy cold. Um – his heart rate was well into the hundreds, which presents that something really got him to get his heart moving i.e. whether it was something that – some outside activity that made him get the way he was – he states to me that once he came around that he didn’t – uh – he didn’t trip, he didn’t fall. It felt like something just picked him up and put him on the floor.”

Jason: “Well, it’s good that you brought that up because upon reviewing the evidence we had, we ended up finding out that one of our guys had a camcorder that he had actually faced towards Frank when Frank went down. And we actually got lucky ‘cause after he was down we also had thermal footage as well. So, uh…”

Danielson: “Wow.”

They show the footage.

Grant: “Boom! He goes down.”

They show the footage at 50% speed. Grant says “boom” again.

Jason: “For some strange reason his equipment lifted up by itself and was able to strike him in the face without him using his leg or either of his arms.”

Rebello: “All by itself.”

TM: “For some strange reason.”

MB: “It was able to strike him in the face.”

Jason: “Exactly.”

Grant: “Yeah, if you watch, you can see this is his bag of equipment – just smacked him in the head. Now as he’s going back, right about there he gets pushed in the chest. You see him fold? And then he goes down. Bang. And his equipment goes over his head.”

Jason: “We wanted to make sure that he didn’t lift it up with his arm or shoulder or anything and – uh – to be honest with you, both his legs are firmly planted on the ground and one arm’s over his head and the other’s right on his side.”

Grant: “Now Steve sensed a cold spot – that’s why his hands are up in the air. He was trying to feel it.”

Rebello: “So he sensed the cold spot right before he [Frank] went down?”

Jason: “Exactly, and right at that same time me and Grant were catching hot and cold spots on the thermal imaging camera upstairs in the back room.”

Rebello: “That’s pretty impressive.”

Jason: “And this is the thermal footage of when he was lying on the ground and – uh – well, it’s just one more camera that picked it up even though it was slightly after but…”

Danielson: But is there anything unusual about the thermal footage?”

Jason: “No, the only thing I did notice, and I will say – while you can see where he got struck because you’ll see it right on his face.”

Rebello: “It’s all red. It’s hot.”

We see a black-and-white version of the thermal colors, but even in this, Frank’s jaw is impressively mottled as he lies supine.

Jason: “So you can actually see where he got struck by the bag.”

Grant: “It’s a little bit warmer than the rest.”

Rebello: “Yeah you can see all his tissues inflamed right on his jaw. That – that’s real.” He smiles. “That’s absolutely real.”

Grant is chortling over “smacked” Frank again.

Jason: “That’s the first time I – now I’ve seen people shoved, I’ve seen people slapped, stuff like that…”

Danielson: “But not like that?”

Jason: “That’s the first time I’ve see a full grown man leveled. All right, so from a medical standpoint, I want your true impression of what you think happened to Frank that night.”

Rebello: “Um – something – some one, some thing – caused him to hit the ground. We’ve seen that. Um – there is damage to his chin – you can see that all that tissue’s inflamed. That’s why it’s showing the heat. It automatically gets inflamed – that’s what the human body reacts to. Um – something terrified this man, to the point where truly I feel scared him and affected him in a – um – in an emotional and possible psychological way for a short period of time.”

Grant: “So you would say he was a healthy man that got knocked on his back…”

Rebello: “Oh, absolutely. I mean – we talked back and forth as we do with the rest of the crew, and he seemed to be a very healthy individual.”

Jason: “All right, what’s your impressions on it, Captain?”

Danielson: Well, I think regardless of whether something supernatural happened to him or not, my impression is that he believed something happened. And – and you know I sympathize with him. I’m – I’m somewhat skeptical myself, and it would probably take something like that happening to me for that to change.”

MB: Yeah, I’m really sure Captain Danielson called up TAPS and asked for help with their ghost.

TM: No good deed goes unpunished.

Jason: “Well, I honestly have to say with the evidence that we’ve gathered here and what Frank experienced and we got to experience through Frank, you know, there is – definitely there’s – you know – there’s some kind of paranormal activity in this building.”

MB: Just say it. THERE’S A GHOST IN THE NEW BEDFORD ARMORY, AND HE’S PISSED!

Danielson: In the army we like to tell stories. We like to talk about who’s been in the unit before, and the history of what we’ve done and, um – having one of our ancestors actually in the building with you is – uh – actually makes it more interesting.”

Jason: “Well, like I said, I – my beliefs are that you have legit paranormal activity here.”

Grant: “As do I. I agree.”

Rebello: “It’s good to hear.”

MB: “Legit paranormal activity” – could he possibly be more oblique?

TM: Give him a break. He’s talking to military guys. It’s bad enough they had to find out later some people thought they had a demon.

Grant: “And, uh – what we’d like to do is give you a copy of – of all the evidence we have for your own records or your own scrutiny.

MB: But what about all those people who don’t want to come to work because of the thing in the hallway?

TM: Let them eat chocolate.

So everything is great, cool, awesome.

Jason: “And we really appreciate you guys having us in here to investigate the building.”

Rebello: “Glad to have you.”

MB: And thank you for letting us pretend you needed help.

TM: Betcha not one single ghost hunter is ever allowed in the New Bedford Armory ever ever again.

THE OUIJA BOARD

Mme. Blahblatsky and the Talking Mongoose attempt a discussion of the episode’s general value as paranormal edutainment.

TM: How many times did we get to see poor Frank fall down?

MB: Twenty-one times. Which equals the number of times we were shown the clip of the apparition at Eastern State Penitentiary, except here you also have ten separate clips of Frank lying on his back.

TM: Believe me, I wanted to like this episode what with the nostalgia factor for me and all, but we watched a guy fall down twenty-one times. I would have guessed higher. It was okay at the beginning, but jeepers – it got old fast.

MB: I’m so sick of it, I don’t even want to contemplate the possibility it was faked.

TM: Not even any favorite bits?

MB: Not today.

TM: Hunh. They’ve crushed you. That’s crazy, dude.

MB: Don’t call me dude. I’ll be back.

TM: Good-bye, dear.

MB: Good-bye.

The Talking Mongoose’s Favorite Bits

Line: “First off, you zero-ize it.” (Brian Harnhois)

Moment: Still Brian’s run at Eastern State Penitentiary.

Tags: Frank deAngelis, ghost hunters, ghosts, Massachusetts, National Guard, New Bedford, paranormal activity, TAPS